AND THAT’S A WRAP!!!
The 2023/2024 is officially over and
throughout the season we saw some madness that thought it wouldn’t be possible!
From the passion of Luton Town, all the way to the emotions that every single
fan of Liverpool FC expressed from start to finish. We also saw some hilarity
from Chelsea who were for the most part struggling, but managed to make a
comeback in the last minute. The less said about United, the better.
But at the end of all things, one thing
was made from the start: CITY WON THE FUCKING LEAGUE!!! WE ALL SAW THIS FROM A
MILE AWAY!!!
This won’t be a typical report for the
month, but just a quick summary of each team’s performance of the season. The
summary will go from last to first, or in this case, from the 3 newly promoted that
got relegated to the champions… I really don’t feel good after writing down
champions because I can’t stop thinking about how CITY are that. They were the “Blue
Scum of Division Two” not too long ago, and now they think they’re some
hotshots doing whatever they want.
Let’s start the summary then, shall we?
THE 3 NEWCOMERS
For the second time in Premier League’s
history, all 3 newly promoted teams got relegated, with Luton Town being the
most tragic one. Since day one, they’ve been fighting against all odds to score
any sort of point. They would score once or twice, but then crumble near the
end of the match. They showed a lot of passion at home and away, playing until
the final whistle. These lads will be missed. Hopefully they’ll be back in the
Prem, because a team like theirs (full of passion and love for the sport), is
needed right now.
Sheffield and Burnley lmao…
NOTTINGHAM FOREST
They just sucked in all honesty. One of
the two teams I believe deserved to get relegated based on how bad their
performance was this season. I cannot count on my hands how many times they
ended up in the relegation zone and managed to escape it in the last moment.
Although, their -4 deduction due to some breach rules is horseshit. This is the
only part of my short summary for them where I defend them. For the other, not
so much. They were just shit!
BRENTFORD
Brentford kind of just existed this
season. They didn’t do much at all. Compared to the last season, where they
finished in 9th, this time they were just here.
EVERTON
After last year’s antics, everyone
expected them to get relegated this time around, but Lord Almighty, they
actually managed to survive and live to see themselves in the Premier League
another day. Their play-style was almost identical to that of last season’s,
but this time, they had to deal with -8 points deduction. YES, EVERTON ARE THE
SECOND TEAM IN THIS SUMMARY THAT GOT RUINED BY THIS PUNISHMENT! When news broke
out about this way back in early 2024, EVERYONE was upset about it. But Everton
managed to survive, even with this handicap that was assigned on them. Fuck
people that ruin the lives of those that try to be honest and play by the rules…
WOLVERHAMPTON
They’re just like Brentford. One season
they do well, the other they fuck it all up. Although, this time around, they
struggled for two seasons in a row. In terms of how their season was: I’d say
it was mediocre. Most of the teams from this point up to Brighton have had a mediocre
season. Just keep that in mind
FULHAM
Fulham are the quintessential mid-table
team. At times they’ll play fantastic matches, and at others, they’ll have
blunders. I can’t say much about them. They weren’t bad, but I have nothing
noteworthy to mention about them as I’m writing this.
BOURNEMOUTH
Having a hard time popping the cherry…
BRIGHTON
They did alright this season. They also
did well in the Europa League, despite getting knocked out in the Round of 16.
Overall, not bad, Brighton. Not bad at all!
CRYSTAL PALACE
Palace played interesting football this
season, with the second half of the season showing that with the right attitude
and mind set, they might challenge the top half of the League. But as it stands
right now, a respectable 10th position is great.
WEST HAM
I can still hear the fans chanting their
iconic “I’m forever blowing bubbles” since last season. They should be proud of
themselves. Quarter finals of the Europa League and overall a pretty decent
season at home? Fucking hell, Irons! You deserve a pat on the back for the
wonderful work you’ve done. Keep at it!
MANCHESTER UNITED
NEWCASTLE
They went from surprising everyone last
season to crapping their pants real quick. While 7th place is
fantastic, after such a disappointing season, this position means nothing.
Shameful!
CHELSEA
These lot went from “mid-table mandems”
to going back to playing European football. The entire fucking season they sat
12th or 11th, and in May they said “FUCK IT” and went on
to gain plenty of positions. Cole Palmer quite saved Chelsea in the last
moment. I need to repeat myself: CHELSEA WERE SHIT THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE SEASON,
AND IN MAY THEY MADE AN EPIC COMEBACK!!!
SPURS
They
won the League in November and prevented Arsenal from winning the League…
ASTON VILLA
“Good ebening! I would like to tell you
all that we will be playing Champions League next season. This season has been truly
magical. We never thought we would get this far in the League. I would like to
thank everyone who has supported us from start to finish, my players who played
wonderful football, our #1 Argentinian troll, Emi Martinez, and other things.
See you next season, with the hopes of not pulling off a “Newcastle” and
ruining everything!”
Unai Emery, probably
LIVERPOOL
In what should’ve been an epic farewell
venture that would make any Liverpool fan happy and prideful of the club, it
ended up as a disaster, as injuries, plenty of chances missed (cough, Nunez, cough), and that damn game against Spurs where they got denied a clear
win make it seem more obvious that luck was not on their side (and perhaps some
shady business done behind doors that would prevent them from winning anything
at all, but this is just crazy talk at this point). Klopp after 9 years of
managing Liverpool will leave Liverpool in the coming days as of writing this.
He has won everything he could in this club. He kept his promise of his “it
needs a change in this club” speech. In my eyes, he’s the best Liverpool
manager ever. And this is coming from a Manchester United fan. I mean it! The
guy is a character and whatever made him choose to retire at such an age, I
hope it’s not something serious. Enjoy your retirement, Jurgen. You’ve earned
it.
ARSENAL
MANCHESTER CITY
They won the League!
Big whoop! Anyway, moving on!
Some teams had it rough, some had it
tough. Overall, the season wasn’t bad, with Chelsea being one of the two
biggest shocks, as mentioned before. Liverpool were serious title contenders,
but they just couldn’t reach the end (lost
it at Goodinson Park), and Aston Villa keeping up with the rhythm they’ve established
in the first 3 months of the season. But then again, this season saw its
controversies with the penalties that were handed to Everton and Nottingham for
bullshit reasons, while City keep on “winning” with 115 charges on their name.
Before ending this summary, I want to
congratulate Bayern Leverkusen on achieving the “Invincibles”. No lost games
throughout the season, in the Europa League final, plenty of clutch wins. Xabi
Alonso, YOU’RE MAD!!!
Expect my Champions League Final report
a day after the game. I suck at writing down endings, not gonna lie.
Ѓорѓи „GioGio“ Илиев
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