UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE ROUND OF 16 SECOND LEG REPORT

 Today I finish off what I started last month. That being the report for the Round of 16 of the UEFA Champions League. A lot has happened in the span of a month, so let's see who gets to continue, and who gets to return home...

Liverpool vs Inter

Tough luck...

The first game of the second leg of the Round of 16 starts off with a huge blow for the exiting team. That team being Internazionale Milano.

They gave it their all in both legs. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to give them the win or draw to keep their dreams alive.

A goal from Lautaro Martinez in the 61st minute was enough to increase the fighting spirit of Inter to a level where there were signs for them to score another goal. But all they did was receive a red card both from the competition and in the 63rd minute thanks to a "fantastic" Alexis Sanchez tackle on Fabinho.

With all these events in mind, Liverpool advance the competition and Inter heads home.

Tough luck indeed...

Bayern vs RB Salzburg

"War crimes are fun" - Bayern München

RB Salzburg got FUCKING OBLITERATED OUT OF THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!!!

An over the top 7-1 defeat at the hands of Bayern München is enough to make any team just shut the hell up, pack their things and go back home.

Just watch the highlights to see how Salzburg got fucking OWNED by Bayern, cause writing down a somewhat decent and lengthy report is just not worth it...

War Crimes :3 💗

Real Madrid vs PSG

Was anyone surprised that this was going to happen?

The game between these 2 giants ended up with mixed results with some fans. Some expected PSG to advance, some expected Real Madrid to go forward. 

First leg went to PSG, after a long ass game with a goal in the dying seconds of the game. 

Second game went to Real Madrid, with Karim Benzema just banging in goal after goal, taking no prisoners with him. His 2nd half goals were the perfect response to Mbappe's goal in the 39th minute. 

And it was this end result of 3-1 that granted Real Madrid a seat in the Quarter Finals of this year's UEFA Champions League, and a ticket back home for PSG...

A decent end to what was otherwise a boring battle between two good sides that should've done better

Manchester City vs Sporting Lisbon

Just vibing...

City were just chilling in the 2nd leg. 

Meanwhile Sporting couldn't do shit. Literally couldn't do shit.

And because of this, they got knocked out not because of the 5-0 loss in the 1st leg, but because of how they made the 2nd leg FUCKING BORING...

...And Lisbon making shit boring

Ajax vs Benfica

What one goal does to a motherfucker...

Ajax vs Benfica is the definition of "last goal wins" rule that kids say when they play football.

A somewhat lengthy game between the two sides was decided by a goal in the 77th minute from Benfica's #9 Darwin Núñez.

After that, the game ended, and Benfica qualified for the next round. That's it. This is perhaps the most average game of this Round.

So yeah, Ajax lost...

Manchester United vs Atletico Madrid 

Slow claps of disappointment...

The bloody melonheads of Manchester just got knocked out of the Champions League after a humiliating 1-0 loss at the hands of Atletico Madrid. There was no PASSION, there was no VISION, there was no AGGRESSION, there was no FUCKING MINDSET during that game.

Like what do you want me to write about this match? How we played like shite from start to finish? Nemanja Matic's ball kick on João Félix (was hilarious though, but that resulted in Matic being carded)? Or do I write about the Legends of Manchester United criticizing us for our lack of... EVERYTHING!!!

Renan Lodi's goal in the 41st minute was the only goal of the game. One goal = HUGE BLOW for the opposing team. Except this time, the blow was more than devastating. It costed us the competition, our declining reputation, the sanity of both players and fans, and the overall health of our Sir Alex...

If you want to feel angry or upset, just watch Man United play. Effects kick in immediately...

LOSC Lille vs Chelsea

GG ez

Will keep this one short:

- Chelsea were being *tryhards and won

- LOSC Played decent, but lost

*Tryhard/s =Somebody whose effort level and emotional investment is excessively high for the level of play in which they are competing.

After a careful look, this game was boring as shit...

Juventus vs Villareal

STOP IT! THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD!

How would you feel if you jumped out of nowhere and attacked an old lady minding her old business? Would you feel happy knowing you attacked someone old, fragile and defenceless? Or feel bad for what you have just done?

If you said that you'd feel bad, then you're an idiot. You need to up yourself. Just look at Villareal!

They beat the living shit out of fucking Juventus in a 3-0 win that shocked everyone. No one thought Villareal would pull off a win like this, in terms of amount of goals scored that is.

Gerard Moreno (78th minute) Pau Torres (85th minute) and Arnaut Danjuma (92nd minute) just gangbanged the old lady and sent her back to Turin's local ospedale.

Like damn... 

Villareal's kink is Cougars it seems...

And with this, I complete my reports on the Round of 16. Tomorrow the drafts will be held for the quarter finals. Let's hope some good games will come out of it. 
Also a HUGE shoutout to my friend for suggesting me to use Arena Sport's highlights for Champions League games (of course the videos belong to them. No copyright infringement intended. I need to show highlights alongside my reports...). To make things even more kickass, here's his portal where he is also doing reports, but not just for football, but for all sorts of things sports related:

https://javisejuzna.mk/author/nase/

So yeah... No idea how to end this one...


Lord Slayer