PREMIER LEAGUE MATCHWEEK 17 & 18 REPORT

Fuck Corona

Another blitz round full of exciting matches, goals galore, and players putting their endurance skills to the test. Playing games almost every single day sounds exhausting. But there's one slight issue about this blitz round: 60% OF THE GOD DAM MATCHES GOT POSTPONED DUE TO A COVID OUTBREAK BETWEEN SOME CLUBS!!!

Not only some clubs, but in general England has been struck with a Covid outbreak. And the world as well for that matter. Shitty situation I know.

So not a whole lot happened these 2 matchweeks, so a report would be rather pointless to write. But that's bullshit. A load of fucking bullshit. You know why? Because something DID happen during these 2 matchweeks. But it was only between 4 clubs, out of 20. That's how bad it is, but these 4 managed to make things interesting, so we have to thank them. The brief reports on their performances will be based on their standing in the league.

With that out of the way. let's start the shitshow that is: Manchester CIty, Liverpool, Arsenal (Manchester United) and Tottenham Matchweek 17 & 18 Report...

Manchester City - City haven't changed one bit. They are doing what they normally do on an average Tuesday night: committing crimes and not getting arrested for them.

They had two easy games this matchweek. First one was against Leeds United (played on Tuesday, 14-12-2021) and against Newcastle United (Sunday, 19-12-2021).

Their first game against Leeds is certified as a classic war crime. They went in hard and left hard. They didn't know how to stop their abuse on poor Leeds. They came inside them 7 times. As if a goal was scored every 5 minutes. That's how hard they went down on Leeds.

Same can be said for the Newcastle game, except they went a bit easy on them, given they are now money buddies and all that. A 4-0 win was like a walk in the park for them. So in total, 2 easy wins, and a glorious 1st place. Fuck "The Citizens" man...

Liverpool - To say that this team is having a wild season is wrong. They're all over the place. Scoring goals, breaking records, give the fans love, end up with dramatic finishes, fights... They have it all!

This blitz round was no different from the rest, having won 1 of their 2 games, Liverpool are still on City's tail for that sweet, sweet 1st place. They faced off against Newcastle ( Thursday, 16-12-2021) and Tottenham Hotspur (Sunday, 19-12-2021).

Their first game was relatively easy. A 3-1 win over "The Magpies" was a walk in the park. Easy pickings.

Their next game however was a fucking wild. They faced off against Spurs and struggled. Spurs showed complete dominance over "The Reds" in the 1st half. By the end of the game, there were 4 goals in total (2-2 was the final score), a red card, a lot of chances, a fuckton of misses, and one angry German man.

I had multiple orgasms watching the game. It was that AWESOME!!!

Arsenal - I think this team is finally getting it. They might have found out how to play, create chances, score goals, and defend. But the season is hitting its mid-point, so all of this praise means nothing. They need to keep on playing good in order to keep that point valid.

Their 2 blitz games ended with blitz wins. First one was against West Ham United (Wednesday, 15-12-2021) and the second against Leeds (Saturday, 18-12-2021).

A wonderful display of performance against West Ham was demonstrated in front of the home and away fans, as Arsenal wiped the floor with their opponents, with a satisfying 2-0 win.

Same thing happened against Leeds, with a comfortable 4-1 win. "The Gunners" won't be running out of ammunition anytime soon with their current performance...

Manchester United - My team and I are dropping in just to say FUCK COVID FOR INFECTIN US (and other teams) AND POSTPONING OUR GAMES!!! GO SUCK A BIG ONE!!!

Tottenham Hotspur - These motherfuckers are having a hard time trying to find their head. 

Just like Liverpool, they are on a wild ride. But unlike Liverpool's epic wins and satisfactions with how they are doing on and off the pitch, Spurs are just a mess. A meme even.

But that doesn't mean they won't do wonders. Their clash against Liverpool, was a match that no one will ever forget. An actual football game in the present day? Get out of here! Goals, chances, saves, fights, emotion? That shit is nonexistent nowadays. But this game proved everyone wrong. A game with no winners, but no losers. Only legendary soldiers, shaking hands with the "agree to disagree" mindset. 

The answer for who is the winner will be settled another time... Also just watch the Liverpool highlights to see Spurs' goals and chances as well...

Standings 

Seriously! FUCK COVID-19!!!

Only closing remarks I have about this report and post is that my activity will be very minimal, as exams are on their way and preparations are a must! I will still post, but not as I used to do in the past few months. One post per week is going to be the norm for a while.

Stay safe out there, and fuck Corona

Lord Slayer...