Leicester City vs. Liverpool
Christ Almighty! This was not the result
most were expecting. If anything, most of us were just awaiting for Liverpool
to win, or at the very least, a draw. NOT AN ACTUAL CLUSTERFUCK OF A RESULT!
Neither side could prove to be the superior
one in the first half. Chances were all over the place, but no goal was scored.
Rodgers and Klopp were trying to figure out who can outsmart who first.
And the out smartening happened in the
second half, when Leicester’s superhero, Lookman (how do people come up with these
names, it’s fucking hilarious) scored in the 59th minute with an
assist from his sidekick, Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall.
Jokes aside about his last name, this one
single goal blew the hopes of Liverpool going over Chelsea and Manchester City
in the table, with the latter winning 1-0 against Brentford. Tough luck for
Liverpool, but a wonderful New Year’s gift for “The Foxes”…
Chelsea vs. Brighton
Let me tell you something. Imagine you’re
home alone with your girl. You just had a lovely date and you take her to your place.
The night is still young, so you end up continuing the fun you two had outside.
All goes well and then you and she are ready to do the “thing”. The mood is
set. Music = on, bed = ready, love = in the air.
AND THEN YOUR LITTLE BROTHER COMES IN AND
YOU GET COCKBLOCKED WITH HIS DEMANDS FOR A GLASS OF WATER CAUSE HE CANNOT SLEEP
OR SOME SHIT!!!
That’s how I can best describe Chelsea’s
game against Brighton, which was a shit show only because of that last moment
of the game.
Lukaku’s first half goal was not enough to
keep Chelsea’s 1st place hopes up high, cause in THE ACTUAL DYING
MOMENTS OF THE GAME, Danny Welbeck came in and denied Chelsea their sweet sweet
victory and 3 points.
Speaking of Danny, good job? We indirectly
prevented Chelsea from winning?
Manchester United vs. Burnley
To end my report with a bang, we have my
beloved United. Oh my dearest! How I love you and fucking hate you at the same
time!
We played our final game of the year
against Burnley. And it was not a disappointment! Rather, it was FUCKING
AWESOME. Okay the “FUCKING” is not needed, but it was awesome.
The game was concluded in the first half
actually. With a goal from McTominay in the 8th minute, followed by
an unlucky block from Burnley’s Mee that resulted in an own goal in the 27th
minute. And our final goal was scored in the 35th minute, by none
other than Ronaldo himself (yay…)
Burnley did however, had enough strength to
slap us silly. Aaron Lennon scored his first ever Old Trafford goal in the 38th
minute, to make the game 3-1 at half time, and the whole match for that matter.
All in all, a fantastic game to end the
year, and to put a smile on someone special’s face…
Before I sign off from my report, I’d like to wish everyone a Happy New
Year and may we all stay safe and sound during these fucked up times. And
hopefully, may 2022 finally see the end of this shitty ass fucking virus.
With the warm message out of the way, I’d also like to spare a moment to
wish Happy 80th Birthday to the man, the myth, and- Actually,
scratch that. He’s none of those things. He’s a dinosaur. An absolute dinosaur.
But what he is… HE’S A WINNER!!!
HAPPY 80th BIRTHDAY SIR ALEX FERGUSON!!! MAY YOU LIVE LONG AND
SEE THE CLUB YOU DEDICATED YOUR LIFE TO BE GREAT ONCE AGAIN DOMINATING FOOTBALL
LEFT AND RIGHT!!!
And now for real, I’ll head out. Enjoy these 2 twats having fun with
their balls:
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