After long and
exhausting 12 months of many ups and many, many downs, we’ve reached the end of
2025 and next stop is 2026. The year hasn’t been the best, if I’m being honest.
Loads of bad stuff happened in it and made everyone feel anxious and uncertain
for the future. From wars, to tragic accidents, to murder (and other vile
things that would censor me here for just even mentioning them), 2025 was
certainly a year of pain and suffering. Even in the world of football, we
couldn’t escape the misery the year brought upon us. A few good, prosperous and
talented footballers lost their lives this year, including Liverpool’s star
Diogo Jota. Even I, a Manchester United fan, can still feel the impact of his
death. He may have played for my eternal hated rival, but the young lad was a
baller and was a fantastic lad overall. May he and the others rest in peace and
keep on playing the ultimate sport, even in the afterlife.
On a more cheery
note, we had PSG beating the ever loving shit out of Inter in the 2024-2025
UEFA Champions League final. 5-0!!! 5 FUCKING 0!!! I am married to United, but
AC Milan is my best pal, and as a Rossonero: FOTTITI, INTER!!! Un mucchio di
pezzi di merda blu…
I mean… United
also fumbled the Europa League final against BLOODY SPURS. So there’s that as
well. Okay most of the events I was going to mention here were to be comic
relief moments, so they’re not that tragic.
But before we
move on to the December report:
 |
| "I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Football, bloody hell. But they never gave in and that's what won it." |
HAPPY 84TH
BIRTHDAY, SIR ALEXANDER CHAPMAN FERGUSON!!! THE GREATEST MANAGER OF ALL TIME,
SECOND TO NONE! I am really sorry we failed to win against a team that is
preparing to go to League Two in the next 2 years or so. May you have a
wonderful day, and may your legacy be forever of that of a CHAMPION!!!
Anyways,
beginning the December report with the first game of the month...
So um… Let’s
talk about blunders.
United
throughout the month have been fumbling it left and right. Play one half
amazingly, then fuck up the other. Or vice versa. An inconsistent form through
and through, with the biggest issues being 0 FINISHERS and 0 DEFENDING. The
midfield play was rather amazing, but holy shit, WHERE IS OUR ATTACK? WHERE IS
OUR DEFENCE? Poor Lammens is experiencing what De Gea was for the last 12 years…
IN JUST 5 MONTHS!!!
Bournemouth are
running out of fumes at the moment. They are on their way to lose their star
player, Semenyo, because he is desired by plenty of clubs in the Premier. And
to be quite fair, he is in-form as we speak. Rumours have it, he is going to
join Man City, and not Man United. In other words, thank you Fabrizio, you
party pooper. As for the team, they’re not looking so hot right now, but definitely
not too cold, either. They’re sure to bounce back in the second half of the
season.
Ayyy, the Scouse
bastards have found their form. After getting humiliated left and right for
about a month and a half, Liverpool have snapped back and started to play
actual football. Isak and Ekitiké
are also starting to show their abilities, too!
But can please
someone explain to me what in the bloody hell is Spurs doing? And who the fuck
does Richarlison think he is? Superman?
The clapping of
ass cheeks. Best way to describe this match.
Leeds United may
be a low-tier club this season, but they’re a low-tier that can mess up even
those that are better than them. They have to be a bit more crafty and cunning
to win their games. They did beat Chelsea this month 3-1, with wonderfully and
cunningly crafted set pieces that made the Blues feel the Blues. Then they drew
their following games.
But this match
against Palace was a repeat of their Chelsea game, where they put the pressure
from the early moments of the game and kept that momentum up until the end.
Calvert-Lewin with a double in the first half, then Ampadu for 3-0 in the 60th
minute. An unfortunate penalty awarded to the guests saw them go down a goal in
the first minute of stoppage time, thanks to Devenny, who found the back of the
net as cool as a cucumber.
Oh and then
Leeds’ Stach, either to improve the team’s G/D ratio, or just for shits and
giggles, made it 4-1. In all honesty, Leeds played incredible football here.
Let’s hope things go better for them and Bournemouth in the second half of the
season.
A minor setback,
is what I will say about this game.
Firstly: Villa
are EXTREMELY ON FIRE this season. Third in the League, third in Europa League,
amazing squad with the players having amazing chemistry with each other (not in
that way, you perverted fools!) And of course, Mr. Good Ebening himself in
charge of the squad.
11 game unbeaten
run! 11!!! Amazing what this team is doing at the moment. They have been like
this for a few years now, and it’s all thanks to smart investments, and having
faith in the manager and his philosophy on how to manage a team.
I was already
impressed by Watkins, but Rodgers is another Villa player who’s a true BALLER!
And of course, I cannot forget, in my own eyes, the real star of the team: Emi
Martinez! A shitposter who is also a fantastic keeper.
Third place with
1 point behind Man City is crazy. I hope this side surpasses them, or hell,
even win the League. It would be a cool call-back to their dominance from the
80s.
Secondly:
Arsenal… I guess? Good job?
STANDINGS
HAPPY NEW YEAR,
EVERYONE (still not New Year at the time of publishing this post), HAPPY
HOLIDAYS, AND MAY 2026 BE A FANTASTIC YEAR!!!
Ѓорѓи
„GioGio“ Илиев
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