After a
spectacular European Cup and a somewhat mediocre Olympic Games, FOOTBALL SEASON
IS BACK! But knowing how stupid modern football is thanks to the new rules
being implemented every 5 minutes or so, and a certain blue scum always winning and avoiding punishment, the
beautiful game has slowly been becoming more of a slog than exciting. But,
still… Hope remains that the robotic style of play and huge sum of money will
be kicked out of the beautiful game one day. Until then, I’m back to doing what
I normally do: Select the best games of the month and write them down with
quirky and somewhat funny notes attached to them. Oh and not to forget to
include the table as well and feature the highlights, brought to you by Arena
Sport (if someone from Arena actually ends up reading my reports, I want to say
first and foremost that I used to mention you a while ago, but got tired of it.
I’m still thanking you for uploading your highlights, though).
Before I begin,
I would like to apologise for my false promise of being able to write stuff
during August, but the sheer amount of work I had to do for my thesis drained
my energy hard, which made me unable to even write a poem I had in mind. And
another thing to add is with the new European Championship format. What the
fuck were they thinking with scrapping the groups for a league table system…?
Alright, then.
Let us begin covering AUGUST! And a bit of September, because I thought to
include Manchester United vs. Liverpool in this, due to their historic rivalry.
And for this one occasion, I had my “delusional football fan” put on with the
hopes of a win. You’ll see how that turned out…
WOLVERHAMPTON vs. CHELSEA
Don’t get me
wrong! Chelsea are still a mid-table team, but what they did here was fucking
scary!
Nicolas Jackson,
Joao Felix, and ESPECIALLY Noni Madueke, just slaughtered “The Wolves” without
a second thought. Poor Wolverhampton didn’t know what hit them. The opening
goal from Jackson in the 2nd minute wasn’t a message, it was a
warning. Then Chelsea’s golden boy Parmer scored in the 45th.
AND THEN MADUEKE
SLAPPED THREE IN A ROW (49th, 58th and 63rd
minute)!!! And their returning player Felix scored in the 80th
minute. But let’s just take a moment and appreciate Madueke’s wonderful
hat-trick. First match for the club, first hat-trick of his for the club. Mad
lad!
MANCHESTER CITY vs.
IPSWICH
There are 2
reasons as to why I’m including this match in my report:
- 1.The
first being is that this is Ipswich’s first time playing against Man city since
nearly 20+ years ago, where they won their game and sent City into The Championship.
- 2.The
other is because of the 4 goals scored within the first 20 minutes of the
match. Szmodics for Ipswich struck first (in the 7th minute), with
Haaland and De Bruyne replying back to said goal 3 times (Haaland in the 12th,
16th, and later completed his hat-trick in the 88th
minute; De Bruyne with his goal in the 14th minute).
EVERTON vs. BOURNEMOUTH
Remember how
everyone got upset about Everton receiving point deduction for breaching and
all that? I’m wondering why nobody got upset about Everton staying up in the
fucking Prem with their current performance in recent years.
Imagine leading
2-0 throughout the match, your team plays a somewhat decent football, keeping
their net nice and clean. Those 3 points are within arm’s reach. It would be a
shame to lose everything after the officials indicate 6 WHOLE FUCKING MINUTES
OF STOPPAGE TIME!!!
Although
Bournemouth did score in the 87th minute thanks to Semenyo, they
really started cooking with Lewis Cook and Luis Sinisterra. Both players scored
in stoppage time, ruining any chance of redemption for Everton.
And while I’m at
it, can we talk about how ridiculous the stoppage time has become? Instead of
the good old fashioned and natural 2 to 3 extra added minutes of extra time,
now we have shit like 10+ minutes of football. Seeing the added time being 5
minutes back then was a rare occurrence and a treat. It made people look
forward to the last moments of the game. Now instead, it’s just a shitshow. On
top of all of that other stuff they’ve implemented over the last few years with
that whacky technology crap…
MANCHESTER UNITED vs.
LIVERPOOL
Not going to
lie, I was hopeful for an okay game. And I was TERRIBLY wrong!
A 7th
minute goal was denied after a Liverpool player was found offside, despite
Salah scoring said “goal”.
Luis Diaz must’ve
felt really angry about it, and to make things right (terrible for us “Red
Devils”), he bagged 2 goals with ease (35th and 42nd
minute, with Salah assisting both of them).
And then the
Egyptian King struck one past Onana in the 56th minute. While I’m
used to see my beloved United being this bad, I’ll never get used to seeing Sir
Alex’s face whenever they show him on the telly. It’s like a former emperor or
a president, watching the country he worked so hard on to make it dominant,
suddenly crumbling before his eyes, and he can’t do anything about it…
STANDINGS
Again, apologies
for not doing anything the past month. I’ll probably try and post that poem
that I’ve been wanting to do for a while. Big congratulations to the newly
promoted sides: Leicester, Ipswich and Southampton. Please don’t get kicked
back in The Championship.
Thoughts on
August? The Blue Cry-babies and The Red Beatles did as expected. Chelsea was a
surprise with their 6-2 win. And that’s all I can think about the month.
Until next time
Ѓорѓи
„GioGio“ Илиев
No comments:
Post a Comment