Die
Meister
Die
Besten
Les
grandes équipes…
THE
CHAMPIONS!!!
Ah, the Champions
League! The greatest competition in Europe, where the top clubs of each
European country fight to prove who's the best of the best. Drama, tension,
upsets, joy, tears. It's all here in Europe's most elite competition.
For this season, I will
give short summary of the group stages, rather than doing reports on them twice
a week. The first format was super tiring not going to lie, so I'm trying
something new for this.
Last season was pretty
wild, up until the final, when City faced Inter and managed to win in the most
boring way possible. Fast forward to now, new faces and new victims step up for
the challenge. Some might survive the group stage, some might go into the
Europa League, and others might pack their stuff and return home.
This is... THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!!!
GROUP A
 |
| A.k.a. the group of Bayern Munich and 3 idiots refusing to qualify... |
I'll make this quick: Bayern were pretty good overall. Those 13 points were well earned. Copenhagen were quite interesting to watch. The only team in the group to draw against the German Giants. Galatasaray were pretty mediocre, and we (Manchester United) were dreadful as always. First time to be out of the group stage in the competition since 2005-2006. Bouncing back to the good old days... That will never happen...
GROUP B
 |
| Lens are the real heroes of this group... |
Arsenal might have returned to the Champions League, dominating their group, but Lens are the true heroes. They may not have advanced into the round of 16, but they prevented Sevilla from advancing into the Europa League. Now teams in that competition will have a chance to win it. Oh and PSV were pretty good as well. Forgot to mention them…
GROUP C
 |
“Los Blancos” came and conquered everything and everyone…
Real Madrid were fast as fuck in demolishing the
other teams. All wins, 18 points in total. Napoli, last year's champions of
Italy, had a rough start of the season. First with the team making fun of
Osimhen, then the league, and now the Champions League. They advance too, but
they were bad. Braga goes to the Europa League, and Union Berlin back to
Berlin...
GROUP
D
 |
| (12+12) / (4+4) = 3 |
All 4 teams are a unique case here. The qualified
teams share 3 wins and 3 draws, and the relegated teams share 1 win, 1 draw and
4 defeats. Real Sociedad and Inter advance, Benfica transfers over the other
competition, and Salzburg goes back home. Pretty decent group when all are put
together. But not decent enough to talk about it in great detail. GGs Sociedad
by the way. GGs...
GROUP
E
 |
| 420 blaze it, Atletico? |
I dunno. This group was a bit boring. Atletico were
high all the time, Lazio were being Lazio. Celtic got clapped real hard.
Feyenoord took the Europa path instead. Just a boring group in general...
GROUP
F
 |
| The Group of Death DID NOT DISAPPOINT!!! |
This year's group of death was EXCITING! Dortmund,
PSG, AC Milan and BLOODY NEWCASTLE! While Dortmund had a bit of trouble on completing
their wins, they were pretty good overall and played well. Same goes for PSG
and Milan. It's just a darn shame that my best mates from Milano didn't make
the cut for the Round of 16. And Newcastle, despite dropping out of the
competition, they played well. Had they been better prepared, they might have
advanced into the next round. But overall, fantastic group and was worth
watching their matches...
GROUP
G
 |
| (Insert your favourite Hentai category here) |
To sum up the entire group: mi smo govna…
GROUP H
 |
| How times have changed... |
You'd think that being in a group where Barcelona is would mean you'd be having a bad time. But times have changed. Barcelona are a shell of their former self. They almost failed to qualify for the next round. But luckily, they did. They were joined alongside FC Porto for Round of 16. Shakhtar joins the Europa League, and these twerps from Belgium go home. But they did cause an upset against Barcelona, so they've earned a lot of respect for that matter, including mine...
Unfortunately, I was unable to provide you with all the goals during the group stage, so the ending will feel a bit flat compared to what I do with most reports. Despite United getting knocked out of the Champions League, I will continue covering the competition until the final game. And hopefully future matches will contain replays once they're done.
Until next time
Ѓорѓи "GioGio" Илиев
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