PREMIER LEAGUE MONTHLY REPORT - MARCH

 

Oh Premier League! My beloved! I don't think I could live without you. I love football, but English football just hits different, you know? The most passionate of moments always happen here. The infamous "AGUERRRRROOOOOOOOOO", the insane Wayne Rooney bicycle kick against Man. City, "The Invincible" season of Arsenal in 2003/2004, and of course, United knocking Liverpool of their focking perch in 2010/2011, when they won their 19th Premier League trophy, surpassing Liverpool as the best club in England. It's all in here. Honourable mention goes to the Watford comeback against Leicester City, when Deeney scored from a failed Leicester penalty kick, to give Watford the win. That's The Championship, but still. It's English football.

It's beautiful!

March is a difficult month for me. Apologies for the sudden change of subject, but just wanted to say it. For me and my family, it's a heavy month. A very precious person left us a long time ago, and 25 years later, the wounds can barely be healed. But since it's ending, let's hope April will be better.

Anyway back to the Prem...

LIVERPOOL & MANCHESTER UNITED

(Oh boy! Here we go!)

The most heated rivalry in English football. Mentioned this numerous times. And how did their derby match play out on March 5th? Nothing happened. It was a very boring game that ended-
OH WHO AM I KIDDING! WE LOST 7 FUCKING 0!

The entire game went to shit when the 2nd half started. 1st half was pretty good. United were attacked, but pushed back and put the pressure. Rashford had plenty of chances to score, but no dice. In the 43rd minute of the match, Gakpo scored for Liverpool, and the players went into the tunnels for half time with the score 1-0 to Liverpool.
And then... It was 2-0. Then 3-0. 4-0. 5-0. SIX - NIL!!! SEVEN FREAKIN' NIL!
LIKE WHAT!?!?!?!?!?
What happened? United throughout the 2nd half played with their heads somewhere else. Each pass made was interrupted. Each attempt at defending the goal was met with broken ankles. Poor De Gea was unable to save most attacks from Liverpool. 
The entire 2nd half felt like a repeating nightmare from our game against them a few years ago, when we lost 5-0. What's worse is that this is probably the only thing worth mentioning about their performance about March.
The rest of the month was actually REALLY good for United. Winning games and advancing in the Europa League & FA Cup, whereas Liverpool dropped inform, losing games and placement on the table. 

That score on the thumbnail is some painful shit. Enjoy your 7Up, Scousers! It's the only cup or can you'll be savouring this season...

ARSENAL & MANCHESTER CITY

One of them is chasing glory at home and in Europe, the other is enjoying the funny number.

Arsenal throughout March have been on fire. Winning games with consecutive results, most of them being with 3 goal difference. Only downside of their performance for March was their defeat from Sporting CP in the Europa League.

Meanwhile City... Demolishing teams left and right. RIP Leipzig & Burnley.

CHELSEA & TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR

The London teams did not have a good time in March. Apart from Arsenal, Chelsea and Tottenham struggled to make any advances that would increase their chances of winning big, or gaining back the rep and respect they've lost along the way.

Their only notable win at home was their game against Nottingham Forest, where Kane (with the help of Richarlison) got the win for Spurs. Their run in the FA Cup and the Champions League was met with disappointing defeats. First from Sheffield United in the FA, and then from AC Milan, who won the rematch by drawing the game.

Chelsea in the meantime, didn't really have much to do during this time of the year, but even with their few games on hand, their performance felt underwhelming. They tried walking on razor's edge with each game, but underperformed badly, despite winning 3 out of 4. Their best game of the month at home was against Leicester, with a 3-1 win. And in the Champions League, they also progressed in the Quarters. 

FULHAM

They get an honourable mention here. Their home games have been lacking badly, losing the 2 games they had, against Arsenal & Brentford.

What made them big targets for March was their game against United in the FA Cup. A lovely goal from Fulham's no. 9, Aleksandar Mitrovic, accompanied with good possession based & pressuring game, saw them the favourites to advance in the Semis of the FA. However, Jaden Sancho's attempt at a goal saw 3 PEOPLE SENT OFF:
- Willian
- Marco Silva (yes, Fulham's manager)
- Mitrovic

The final score was 3-1 for United...

The Jaden Sancho Incident. 19-03-2022

STANDINGS

And with that, with a little description on the bigger things that happened throughout the month, we end up March on a very mediocre note. It started off with very painful, with the whole 7-0 defeat to Liverpool, but steadily and slowly progressed into something better. United dusted themselves and moved forward with their season. Meanwhile, The Scouse Bastards are stuck with their 7Up in the 6th place of the League.

Arsenal and City made no changes. Same as usual
The bottom 3 are bottom , Leicester might fuck it up and join the bottom 3 if they lose or draw the next games, and that FA Cup incident. Truly a bizarre month. See you all in April.

Ѓорѓи „GioGio“ Илиев