PREMIER LEAGUE MATCHWEEK 12 REPORT

Feels like I haven't done this in ages

It's been a very long while since I've done anything related to football. But I guess that's a given, since I did a tribute story about my favorite video game franchise, and it costed me the whole week making it. But I'm glad how it turned out and that some folks from the Tomb Raider community found it fantastic.

On another note, last week, we managed to qualify for the World Cup (technically we have to play 2 more games in order to truly qualify for the Cup, but still), by beating Iceland with relative ease. Shoutout also goes to our northern neighbors Serbia, who managed to kick Portugal's ass and finish first in their group.

With the introduction out of the way, let's start off with the second game on my report...


Watford vs Manchester United

OLE IS FUCKING OUT LADS!!!

OH BOY!!! OH BOY!!! 

#OLEOUT Is real! Albeit a bit late on with my report on this, he still got sacked, after this horrendous game that my team had on Saturday's clash against Watford. 

For "The Hornets", I have nothing to say except bravo ragazzi. Wonderful performance from everyone.

As for United, I have nothing except a shit ton of laugh tracks. Embarrassing game in general. Dominated in the first half, and downright annihilated in the second half. Ole's end at United was confirmed at this point. Poor play, poor strategy, and worst of all, worst player choice ended United's hopes for at least an equalizer.

And with rumors that Donny van de Beek may want to leave us during the winter transfer period, we're in deep shit right now...

The Cycling GK is enjoying life right now...

Aston Villa vs Brighton

New club, same old shite...

This time, we're going to take a small break from all the big boy stuff and focus on Aston Villa for a change.

Villa, who are currently 15th in the Prem, just got a new manager. And of all people to choose from, THEY CHOSE BLOODY STEVEN GERRARD!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!

Stevie G, showing his managerial skills are as good as his player skills were back in the day (seriously, as much as I hate him for being a Scouser, he was even worse when when played against us. And also his screamers too were on another level), decided to leave his beloved Rangers FC, and Scotland as a whole, and move back to England, more specifically, Birmingham.

His first game a Villa manager could not have gone better. Two late winners to give Villa the 3 points and help them move up in the table. Meanwhile, Brighton have dropped from the top 5, but nevertheless, they're enjoying their current placement in the top 10, as their position is 9th...

Fantastic start for Gerrard after his return to the Prem, after not being there for who knows how long...

Liverpool vs Arsenal

So yeah. This happened...

Do Liverpool know what it means to stop harassing others? Do they know that 2 is more than enough per game?

Well clearly they don't, since they managed to squash Arsenal like a bug, with a 4-0 win. Anfield was buzzing the whole time, from start to finish.

The stars of this game were Mane (39th minute), Jota (52nd minute), Salah (73rd minute) and Minamino (77th minute). 

But those were the stars who scored the goals. The REAL stars were the managers believe it or not. Liverpool's Jurgen Klopp and Arsenal's Mikel Arteta had a scrap after a tackle was made on Tomiyasu Takehiro by Sadio Mane. This challenge raised some eyebrows and in the end of it all, instead of the players having a scrap, it was the coaches that did the scrapping. 

But they still ended up punishing the North London side in the end...

These lot are taking their chant "You'll never walk alone" quite literally...

STANDINGS

AND I JUST NOTICED WE'RE FUCKING 8TH!!!! Fuck my life...

A relatively short report, but one that caused quite the ruckus in my honest and humble opinion. Ole's sacking, combined with Gerrard's first Premier League game since 2015, and the clash between Klopp and Arteta, made this week a very fun and enjoyable one. This is the kind of thing you'd expect from the Premier League. If it's not the players doing the magic, it'd be the managers filling that void, whether it's with tactics, or shit-shows like these ones.

See you in a few days, where I'll be reporting on the second to last matchday of the Champions league .

And I hope to God we pull this off...

Until next time
Lord Slayer...