PREMIER LEAGUE MATCHWEEK 9 RANT

 

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Not your typical report this time around, I am afraid.

Before I start off with my rant, I would like to congratulate on the following teams and their wins that happened during matchweek 9:
- Manchester City
- Chelsea
- Watford
- Arsenal

These four have played extremely well and produced some top quality football that reminded me of the good old days, both in the 90s and the 2000s, when the Premier League was at its peak.

With that out of the way:

MANCHESTER UNITED SHOULD BE PUBLICALLY STONED FOR EVERY SIN THAT IT HAS DONE SINCE 2013!!!

Manchester United never ceases to amaze me! From finishing 7th, followed by questionable transfer targets and purchases, then by the ownership of the club, all the way to having shite managers that have done fuck all to the team and caused more damage than our defeats in the UEFA Champions League finals in 2009 and 2011. Manchester United have proven to me that they are unable to do anything and are nothing without Sir Alex Ferguson. Ever since his retirement in 2013, the club has been unable to have at least 1 proper season without fucking something up.

I'd start off with how his replacement, David Moyes, was a joke and all that, but compared to the thing that I witnessed today, I think that Moyes managing United was like a bruise on the knee than something as embarrassing as getting humiliated by your biggest life-long rivals at your own porch.

0-5!!!

WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING OLE?!?!?! OLE, YA CHEEKY BASTARD!!!! WHAT ON BLOODY EARTH ARE YOU DOING SON?!?!?

The short version of my rant is: We committed suicide in the most spectacular way possible.

The long version:

1. The 1st half of the game was just thrash. Even people who are handicapped would have played better than the current team. Why the fuck did we make all those purchases this transfer season? To use them as bench decorations? Maguire!!! Rashford!!! Ronaldo!!! And the rest of the club!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YA CUNTS?!?!? You can't rely on De Gea to save us ALL THE FUCKING TIME WHEN SHIT DOESN'T GO ACCORDING TO PLAN!!! I mean, our first attempt was fantastic. Didn't go in, but that was good show. And then... Goal kick for Liverpool. They take it, make an attack and BOOM!!! 1-0 for Liverpool. WHERE WAS THE DEFENCE?!?!? WHAT?!?!?!?

2. Why are we unable to do anything when it comes to attack? Are we playing for ourselves or is it 21 vs 1 this time around? The opponent team plus our players joining them to attack and possibly traumatize our goalkeepers. Not even 5 minutes in and we already conceded another goal. And as the previous goal, THE DEFENCE WENT MISSING!!!! SAME GOES FOR THE ATTACK!!!!
3. At this point we conceded a 3rd goal, and it was already accepted that we'd lose the game. But what came next was buffalo diarrhea levels of "things could not get any worse". After an attack of ours was stopped by Becker, the ball went rolling and Ronaldo, whose shot was blocked, entered pursuit alongside Liverpool midfielder Curtis Jones. The young lad won the duel fair and square. And you'd say: "Okay. What's the bad thing here?" Well... Ronaldo lost his shit and started kicking the kid. RONALDO STARTED KICKING A KID CAUSE HE LOST HIS DUEL!!! And instead of getting sent off, Anthony Taylor, probably on his 10th can of beer, decided to give Cristiano a yellow... I want to die.
And as payback, we conceded a 4th goal. Half-time, and the score was 0-4.

THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAD THE AUDACITY TO HURT CAUSE HE LOST, LMAO!!!

4. For this part of my rant, I went to the bathroom to drop a big one, but still decided to follow the game. And Lord behold, 0-5. It was official. Not only am I going to shit out feces, but I'm shitting out myself from the inside-out. All my organs were shat alongside the shit I was taking. To make matters worse, after coming out, I witnessed Pogba performing a dangerous sliding tackle onto Nabi Keita, injuring the Guinean international badly. It was so bad that the guy was taken out by the Liverpool medical staff. At this point, I think Taylor had sobered up and decided to take the rightful action: BY GIVING PAUL POGBA THE GOD DAMN RED CARD THAT THE FUCKER DESERVED!!! 
     I would like to wish Nabi Keita a speedy recovery, as that challenge was horrendous and could have done more than just injuring the player. Another shoutout goes to him for scoring the opener of the game. He deserved scoring that goal, but the challenge was caused by a moron who thinks being good looking is much more important than the job he's signed up for.

This was taken after the Pogba incident, around the 60th minute mark. Man United fans leaving the stadium. And I don't blame them for doing such a thing...

There was a chance that we could have conceded a sixth goal, but De Gea stopped that attempt. And for the rest of the game, he was like a father with the "military nut" characteristic: Demands obedience, treating his elders with respect, treats his family and kids like they're soldiers. As if he came back from some war and has PTSD.

The guy was shouting at the players for their shit performance.

All that legacy that he had created... Destroyed in front of him...

I refuse to write further about the rest of the match and the matchweek. I feel embarrassed and furious about today's outcome, and even worse, the whole situation of the club. Ole is definitely getting sacked in the morning. And not the usual "sacked in the morning", a.k.a. getting fired, but quite a literal one. A body bag over him and sack him away somewhere.

О да ти се мочам у Спорт Клубов. Мораа ли овој серко да го стават???

Until next fucking time
Lord Slayer...