Saturday, 9 October 2021

OVERKILL FOR NOTHING

Westminster School, Westminster, London



"Final moments of the game. Neither team can score a goal to determine the winner of this year's Champion's League final... OH WHAT'S THIS?!?!? A PENALTY IS GIVEN!!! A chance for the home side to score and take home the trophy. Benjamin steps in to take the penalty. All eyes are on him , as this shot might end the game for good and give his team the win, glory and a night to remember... He's going for it... AND HE DOES IT!!! BENJAMIN SCORES THE GOAL AND WINS THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FOR HIS SIDE!!! AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE, BENJAMIN BECOMES--"


"LATE FOR CLASSES IF HE DOESN'T GET UP WHEN THE ALARM GOES OFF!!!", says his mother who aggressively wakes him up from his wonderful sleep and victorious dream. "And don't talk back. You asked me to wake you up if the alarm doesn't do the thing."
Benjamin, now distraught by the fact that he wasn't playing for his club in the Champions League final, gets up and slowly walks towards the bathroom to freshen up. The tasks are quite simple: Taking a piss >  flushing down the toilet > wash the hands > wash the face. After that's all done, he goes to his room to upgrade his outfit. And by upgrade I mean downgrade, cause the dude takes off his pajamas and is in his underwear, doing stretches before goes to the kitchen to get his breakfast. As soon as he took off his bottom pajamas in the most flamboyant style, he was ready to do his mini workout exercise. Healthy life, if you know what I'm saying. But just then, before he tipped himself up, saw the time. It was 8:30 am. Now under normal circumstances, such a time period would indicate that:
- it's morning
- the sun has risen from its slumber
- that waking up in the morning is bullshit (the writer's personal opinion on the matter)
And most importantly, that Benjamin was late for classes, just like his mother mentioned when he got awakened by her. Panic started to overwhelm Benji. Not only panic because he is going to be late for classes, but the fact that he had not done his important geography homework was also a big issue. He had 1 hour to do the following tasks: get dressed, eat breakfast, prepare his backpack, and jog to school.
Looking back, he should not have stayed the previous night playing games with his mates online, no matter how fun it was. Cracking his knuckles, he decides to challenge this horrible morning fate has assigned him. 
He proceeds to quickly get out of his room and head straight towards the kitchen to prepare his cereal breakfast. But OH BOY! No milk. "Fuck..." he thought to himself. Not knowing what to do, he quickly came up with a solution to his problem: Peanut butter jelly sandwich. It may not be the ideal breakfast for a growing young man, but at least it makes the stomach full in the morning. With his exceptional dribbling skills, he passes through his mum and dad at high rates of speed to get the ingredients for his sandwich. And like the speed demon that he is, quickly makes his breakfast and returns the items to where they belonged. And to conclude this quick speedrun, a nice cup of tea to make things taste smooth.
Now that he was done with his breakfast, he was on his way to... Oh yeah. He forgot to change into his school uniform, meaning that his parents saw him almost naked moving like Cristiano Ronaldo around the house (dude, just imagine Ronaldo running around your home, in your underwear. That'd shit be fucking awesome). Semi-naked, Benjamin enters back in his room to dress up properly for school, like a fine looking young English lad. Problem with this part of the "tasks to be done in a short amount of time before being late to school" plan was his socks. He wasted 10 minutes trying to find them. And their location wasn't anything special. They were underneath his PC chair, but because he forgot to turn on the lights to see what he was doing, he didn't find shit on time. BUT... But, all things ended on a high note, and with his proper gear on, he looked like he belonged like he's a student of "Westminster School".
Next came the geography homework. His assignment was to make a project on Switzerland's territory, land, ethnicity data, language, and plenty of other geographical tasks that students learn, study or do homework about. This perhaps was the harshest task out of all. He spent quite a while just planning out the beginning of his presentation. Then it took him a while to find the necessary photos and videos that will help out with his project. "Switzerland, land of the chocolate and the watch", "Why does Switzerland have more than one national language", "What makes Switzerland such a popular country for immigrants?", "Why are they so neutral when it comes to war?", and many more tabs and sites were opened in the making of this project of his. And the final trial for this segment was to give it a final look before leaving home. SPOILER ALERT: It all looked great. He learned everything he needed to talk about on the fly. Now all that was needed was his jog (or in this case his sprint) to school.
Prepared his backpack, put on his shoes, saying bye to mum and dad, and he set off.
The sprint was not easy. Lots of people in front of him turning into hardcore obstacles that he had to overcome in order to not get late for classes, he decided to embrace the Essence of Parkour and ascend to places higher than most people. To fly high like a butterfly, and reach the heavens to use them as a shortcut to reach his ultimate goal.
Benjamin is quite the boy. Tall, well built, kind, multi-talented in many fields of sports and academics, and... He's a treasure. That is until something happens and he starts freaking out like he is fighting in Vietnam or something.
And the worst came to fruition. He was not going to make it on time. Feeling that it was useless to move forward, he stopped. Took out his phone to check the notification with his watery eyes. It was an e-mail from his school. The message was: "Due to the current situation with the pests swarming the school area, the school will be closed down for the remainder of the week". The message was sent at 10 pm, Tuesday.
"..." - said Benji.
For a good hour, he stood there like a complete tool. The clock was 10:15 am. The boy was devastated. He got up, ran throughout his home in his underwear, did the project and all that, just so he sees the message stating that the school is closed due to a pest problem. His entire face and body language were that of a man who had lost everything. 
Luckily, the story does indeed have a happy end. His girlfriend, Erina, bumped into him. Feeling disturbed by her boyfriend's looks, she asked if something bad had happened. Benjamin, without uttering a single word, showed her the message displayed on his phone. With this new information in mind, she gave him a blank stare and patted his head like a kitten. To make things better, his mates showed up as well. Feeling overwhelmed with joy and surrounded with people he loves the most, returns home briefly to change his clothes from formal to something that resembles a man that is on his way to play some kickabout with his mates and then 30 minutes later to go on a date with his lady. Which did happen at the end of the day.
All in all, he went overkill for education for nothing. And went extra overkill on the pitch and on his date with his lady.



Lord Slayer

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