Unlike the UEFA
Champions League, the Premier League closed off February with a MOTHERFUCKING
BANG!!! Saturday’s matches (28.02.2026) especially were unbelievably
incredible. Loads of goals and action from all the games, with Liverpool’s 5-2
win over West Ham being the highlight of that particular day (we drew to these
fuckers, by the way). On top of that, Wolves actually started to play football.
It seems ever since their draw against United in late December, they’ve started
to play football. TOO BAD THE MIDWAY POINT OF THE SEASON IS GONE AND WE’RE ENTERING
THE FINAL THIRD OF THE 2025/2026 SEASON!!! They didn’t manage to break Derby
County’s record, at least. The teams in the top 6 are also an interesting
bunch, with a certain team aiming to
bottle it yet again. It is time to see which matches of the month were noteworthy
in our monthly report of the Premier League…
Dear
Wolverhampton Wanderers, thank you! Not because winning this game is granting
Manchester United a chance to climb to 3rd, but because you actually
decided to play football for FUCKING once!
A solid
performance from the Wolves all around, with a little bit of a hiccup at the
beginning. The ferocious bites started going down in the second half, with
Gomes claiming the first bite, alongside his mate Armstrong in the 61st
minute. Wolves always hunt in a pack, as the saying goes.
Villa didn’t
have any idea how to counter nor how to attack, as they were very sloppy. The
players didn’t seem like they knew what they were doing (perhaps they have
forgotten their positions), the defending was very questionable, the midfield
and attacking players not having the energy to close down on the final third,
and Emi Martinez being their only saving grace this season. Even Cash couldn’t
get them out of this predicament, ignoring how he, alongside 5 other players
received yellows in this game, the most out of all in the monthly report.
Back on track
for Wolves. Gomes was the shining man of the match. All barks and all bites, he
decided to even go on the “lone wolf” path and finish off the Villans with a satisfying
second goal, and a sweet 2-0 victory. Wolves are currently dead last with 13
points, while Villa are 3rd (at the time of writing this) with 51
points. Even with this loss, Villa have been a pretty solid team, but they’re
running out of steam at the moment. Same can be said for the following teams in
the next section…
The North London
Derby. The Banter Derby. The Clash of the Jokey Fellas.
Eze win for
Arsenal. Spurs are absolute dogshite this season. Everyone and their
grandmother is waiting for them to get relegated. Same can be said for their
red neighbours… EVERYONE AND THEIR GRANDMA IS WAITING FOR THE GENERATIONAL
BOTTLING OF ARSENAL!
Oh, and a bit of
strange trivia about this game: a known football streamer was walking around
London after the game was done and was mocking a bunch of Spurs fans by
chanting YID Army (the fans of Spurs). The Spurs fans returned back with the
good old snarky “Gooner” chants (The Arsenal fans… Why do they call themselves
Gooners, why? Why? WHY?). While this was happening, the police nearby arrested
the Arsenal fan for apparently being very “offensive” with his choice of words.
Brother, how about you mind your business and focus on actual problems and not
football fans bantering with one another?
Arrest both
Arsenal and Spurs and throw them to the dungeon, for fucks sake. One’s a
Championship side, the other is playing Haramball!
One of these
teams is in the Champions League, by the way.
Newcastle has
been struggling this season, no doubt. They can flex their “Champions League”
team status all they want, but if they can’t stomp on some Bees with ease, then
my friend, you have what’s called a skill issue.
Brentford did
run in some trouble in this match, but thanks to a goal scored late in the game
by Ouattara secured them a win. Not their finest performance, but a win is a
win. Plus, 7th place is very good. This one subpar match shouldn’t
knock down their confidence. Their point gap with the two teams above them is
super tight, so one slip from either of them and Brentford end up in either Top
6 or Top 5.
Newcastle is…
The team of the season, alright…
In hindsight, I
should’ve picked between Liverpool vs. West Ham, Burnley vs. Brentford or
Newcastle vs. Everton, but this match was also crazy.
Palace’s Strand
Larsen puts his team 2-0 before the 40th minute. So far so good.
Palace needs the 3 points to boost their morale, as they’ve been awful so far.
These 2 goals are promising.
Then the 40th
minute rolls in. Mejbri scores for 2-1. No biggie. As long as it’s a win, it
should be fine.
Anothony scores
in the 44th. Panic ensures.
And finally,
after many attempts from Palace… A THIRD IS SCORED!!! THE SCORE IS 3-2… FOR
BURNLEY! An own goal by Lerma in stoppage time of the first half.
Forgot the
second half existed, sooooo… Palace lost 3-2. How did they beat City in the FA Cup final, again?
Everton vs.
Lammens would be the perfect way to describe this match.
Don’t get me
wrong, though. Ever since United replaced Amorim with Carrick, things have been
going OH SO FUCKING GOOD FOR US!!! We play actual football, we score, we don’t
fear when we concede (that much), we… Are perhaps watching United play football
the United way. The type of football we’ve been crying to the heavens to
witness again.
As for the
match. Fantastic display from the boys! Rock solid defence, midfield and
attack. Lammens was honestly the star of the show, alongside Benjamim Šeško (Sexo,
as some fans call him). The Slovenian speedy boi has been used as a super-sub
in the last couple of games, but boy what a super sub. United’s Bryan Mbeumo
was seen limping a bit during this match, and may not be in the best of fitness
to star in his next match, which means Šeško
may get his opportunity to be in the Starting XI.
As for Everton…
10 FUCKING CORNERS!!! Who are you? Haramball FC?
STANDINGS
February was a
pinch-perfect month for English football action. With Manchester United being
the team to shock everyone with its performance, it’s no surprise the month was
amazing not just for them, but for other teams as well. Even Liverpool has
managed to find its form, albeit way too late.
Arsenal,
however. They’re starting to run out of energy. And if they don’t find a tiny
portable charger to keep up until the end of the season, we could be witnessing
the most batshit way to bottle a League Title Race ever. Only time can tell.
Three more months of the season remain until the winner is decided. March is
here, and let me tell you: I’m actually looking forward to see United’s
upcoming matches. For the first time in 13 years, I’m excited to see the Red
Devils play some proper football. And if Carrick ends the season in a position
that guarantees Champions League next season, he gets to stay. Honestly, the
lad is calm, cool, is following the basics to a T, spent time under Sir Alex
Ferguson’s strict but righteous rule, understands the players as a “me and the
boys” type of a man and most importantly, sends out a message that above all
else, he’s going to bring Glory, Glory to Manchester United… Hopefully.
Until next time,
Ѓорѓи „GioGio“ Илиев
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