UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE 2024-2025 LEAGUE PHASE SUMMARY REPORT

 

You may be wondering why I’m all of the sudden posting a report about the UEFA Champions League instead of the usual two weekly matchday report I used to do last year. The answer is pretty simple: THE LEAGUE!

And I’m not talking about the Premier League. I’m talking about the all brand new and super exciting format to give weaker teams a chance to advance and also that it was definitely not made to make more cash for the CEOs and higher ups, whilst screwing over the fans and teams for their own selfish and greedy needs & deeds, no sire!

Long story short, the brand new format scrapped the good old group system and replaced it with a League system. How this works is a bit bizarre if you ask me: 36 teams play from October to January (Tuesday & Wednesday nights, of course), and the first 8 teams automatically qualify for Round of 16, while the teams from 9^th to 24^th get to play in a knockout phase to earn a shot for it. 25^th and below get to go home… Maybe by the end of the 2024/2025 campaign I’ll probably get a better understanding of this new format, because I’m not alone on this. Others also aren’t attracted to this new format, either due to its complexity, the idea of greed that made this happen, or both.

Because of this, I waited until January to finally make a bloody report on it. I could’ve done a matchday report like how I used to do with the ones with the Premier League, but the new format really took me by surprise. To make things a tad bit understandable, I’ll talk about the participants in 3 sections:

-        The Losers

-        The Undecided

-        The Winners

So uh… Let’s dive into it!

 

THE LOSERS

So we’re starting off the summary with the teams that failed to qualify for the following round. Apart from Dynamo Zagreb, who basically were very close to advancing, the others stood no chance at doing anything. They were basically the punching bags for the others. Girona, while was hyped last season due to their incredible run, fell off short after matchday 1, when they lost to PSG 1-0. They only had one win, against Slovan Bratislava. My fellow stars from Belgrade also didn’t have the best of runs, but did embarrass VfB Stuttgart 5-1, so that’s something. Dynamo Zagreb’s journey was really rough. Their opening game was a 9-2 loss to… Bayern Munich… It’s Bayern, lads. Nothing much you could do. They did win games against RB Salzburg, Slovan and AC Milan, of all teams. Should they have beaten Monaco and Celtic, they might’ve had a shot at joining the others at Round of 16. But as it stands now, here’s how the League Stage ended for the losers:

 

 

THE UNDECIDED

The teams that placed between 9^th and 24^th get to have a shot at Round of 16 by playing in a knockout phase of the tournament. Seeded vs. Unseeded teams, or more casually put, teams with skills vs. teams with skill issues.

Honestly, the middle of the league portion is fascinating, as big names are in here, such as Dortmund, Real Madrid, Bayern Munich, AC Milan, PSG, Juventus and FUCKING MANCHESTER CITY!!!

Dortmund’s first two games were off a great start, with wins against Club Brugge and Celtic. But then they played the 2 giants of Spanish football and were taught a valuable lesson not to piss off the Spaniards. It also didn’t help that they lost to Bologna 2-1 on Matchday 7. Have they beaten the Italian side, they would’ve been automatically in Round of 16, but it is what it is.

Real Madrid was a favourite to qualify immediately, or even finish first. But in the end, they almost fumbled it. What happened? Well, they had a Lille problem with the French. A Lille 1-0 defeat. Allora gli italiani erano la squadra migliore e hanno vinto 3-1 contro i “Los Blancos” (grazie, Milan!) and finally Liverpool just said “Let it Be!” and scored 2. The rest of the matches were in Real’s favour with easy wins. But the defeats to Lille, Milan and Liverpool had a toll on their chances of being in the Top 8.

Bayern Munich, just like Real Madrid, got humbled. Their first loss was really special, since it was to the winners of the 1981-1982 Champions League, Aston Villa, with a simple 1-0 win. The Claret and Blue still has a 100% win record against the Bavarians. Then Bayern got smacked by Barca 4-1, and lost to Feyenoord 3-0. The Dutch side is a strong team that should not be underestimated. The German giants won the remaining games with ease, but couldn’t perform when it mattered the most.

AC Milan and Juventus were all over the place. One day they won games, the other they drew, and the third they lost. It was a bizarre performance by the Italians, but Juventus wins some brownie points on beating Man City 2-0.

PSG, PSG, PSG. One of the wealthiest clubs in the world, with incredible talent, and winning mentality, and rich history (this is sarcasm). Just like Milan and Juventus, all over the place, but at least you won against City.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Erling really did put a curse on the Blue Scum when he uttered the infamous “Stay humble, eh?” They almost lost the entire competition, had it not been for Savinho to make it 3-1 in the end, as the team struggled to score. The second goal was an own goal by Brugge’s Joel Ordóñez. Fuck! I really wish this team bit the dust, but oh well. There’s always another moment of opportunity to strike them down! And here’s how the mid-table looks in the end:

 

 

THE WINNERS

Listen. All the teams from Liverpool to Leverkusen get a pass since they were expected to advance, but no one saw that LILLE and ASTON VILLA would make it in automatically in the Round of 16.

Lille are one of the most boring teams of the tournament. No offence if you are a fan of the team, but there’s a dry atmosphere whenever I see them play. I’m not undermining their successful achievement, nor am I saying that even at home they suck. It’s just that it’s VERY unusual for a team like Lille to progress further into the Champions League. OH WHO AM I KIDDING?!?!?! They deserve the praise and love for showing us how things should be done! They conquered Madrid single handedly, slaughtered Feyenoord, ate some Bolognese, and painted some hills with Strum Graz. They couldn’t handle Sporting nor Liverpool, though. On the subject of Sporting, Ruben Amorim’s departure has had an effect on the team, but they’re still going strong.

Villa were the biggest surprise with the saddest outcome. They started the Champions League so smoothly, with wins against Young Boys, BAYERN MUNICH, Bologna! But Club Brugge ruined that momentum with a 1-0 win, and that Villa loss was followed with a goalless draw against Juventus. And, to add an insult to injury, a horrible 1-0 loss to AS Monaco. But still, even with these setbacks, they are in the Round of 16 and are shining brighter than ever before. 8^th in the Champions League table, 8^th in the Prem, with high chance of catching up to the Top 5. And speaking of the Top 5s or Top 8s, here’s how the top looks like:

 

 

On one hand, I honestly am not sure how to feel about this new format. It gives other teams a shot at winning the trophy, sure, but the way it’s being handled is a bit of an issue. No team gets sent to the Europa League this time around. If you don’t make it, you go home and try harder next time. On the other hand, I enjoyed writing this summary of the League phase. And as usual, the images I used for the tables were taken from the official page of UEFA, so full rights go to them for the table. Tomorrow, I’m posting the Premier League January Report, and boy do I have things to say about January!

See you in 24 hours… Or less… I dunno

 

 

Ѓорѓи „Gio Gio“ Илиев