It's been God knows how long since we've last seen international football. 1 year has passed since the Euros, and that was played a year late due to the Covid outbreak. So Euro 2020 was played a year late, and at the end of it, fans all over the globe were cheerfully singing and saying "IT CAME TO ROME". As a person that has supported England throughout my life during major tournaments such as The Euros, it hurt so bad when they lost the penalty shootout. And I had it all ready man! Speakers, "It's Coming Home" by The Three Lions, and white shirts to emulate the mighty colour of the English National Squad. BUT IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! I am still salty about it.
But one year later, here we are, in the Middle East, 32 teams, a month worth of football, drama, action, sheikhs, and most importantly, THE NEW CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD, WHICH ARE... At the end of this writing.
A few words before I start with this piece of mine is about my country, North Macedonia. We had quite the run in the qualifiers. Managed to shock Germany and beat ITALY! We showed the top dogs that tiny and barely noticeable countries can be capable of producing some shocking results. But due to the wacky and janky qualifier rules, we had 1 more game to play to qualify, and that was against Portugal. Unfortunately, but also predictably, our luck ran out, and we got beat 2-0 in the end. 2 goals from Bruno Fernandes sent Portugal to Qatar, and us back home with lots of praises from pretty much everyone. We almost made it to play against other countries that are not European. Maybe next WC will be different who knows.
BUT ANYWAYS, IT'S WORLD CUPPIN' TIME!!!
GROUP STAGES
GROUP A
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| R.I.P. in peace Qatar. There was an attempt... |
We start things off with Group A, as it is always the case. I should stop using this line whenever there's a tournament and groups. But moving on, this is the group where the host nation participated, AND GOT SQUASHED!!!
- Netherlands: The Netherlands squad were the favourites for this group. Virgil van Dijk, Memphis Depay, Luuk de Jong, Daley Blind, and many more, were pretty much the sole reason why they finished in 1st. Their tumble against Ecuador was a surprise, but they quickly shook things off in the next match. They were OP compared to the others.
- Senegal: Probably the other side that felt like it was capable of making it out of the group. With Sadio Mane in the squad, Senegal still struggled a bit, but nevertheless, managed to qualify for the next stage of the Cup.
- Ecuador: The first 1-1-1 team of the tournament. The 1-1-1 stands for 1 win, 1 draw and 1 loss. They beat Qatar, drew against The Netherlands and lost to Senegal. Got cheated during the first 20 minutes of the opening game. But in the end, they beat the host of the Cup. Speaking of which...
- Qatar: Shit performance, shit hype! Worst performing host in the history of the World Cup!
GROUP B
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| IT'S COMING HOME!!! |
This group is a very particular one, as it had nations that have a great historic rivalry. Both in terms of independence and the word for "The Beautiful Game", with the latter still going on even in today's day and age.
- England: I'll put on my delusional England fan make up on and sing "FOOTBALL IS COMING HOME" like a lunatic. The only negative about them in this group stage was their game against USA, a boring 1-1 draw. And just like that draw, the war for what this sport should be named continues.
- USA: Was expecting them to get knocked out, not to knock someone out. Their only win against Iran was more than enough to see them advance, as their draws against England and Wales were the cherry on top.
- Iran: Unfortunately, Iran couldn't make it past the group stages. They never had chance against a strong side, like England. Don't tell me Wales was gonna beat them?! Please! They played marvelous football against them. Their only win was against Gareth Bale's home nation. And to be honest, they 100% deserved it.
- Wales: Came for the politics, left because of politics. 'Nuff said.
GROUP C
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| Nations with two great players advance forward, but who will outlast who? |
3rd Strike is what counts, as the phrase goes. This was the first group that produced a surprise, and said surprise didn't shine in the end, but produced some "spice" in the competition.
- Argentina: With how bad their first game was, I thought they'd be out by the second game. But thankfully, Argentina did what they do best, and that's win.
- Poland: Same thing for Poland, except they were on the ropes since the first game. And they are the second team to wear the honourable 1-1-1 mark. Only reason they qualified is because of their goal difference. Lewangolski really saved their asses. Also that "Lewangolski" joke. My god Muller. You suck with your puns!
- Mexico: They were there, they played, earned their 1-1-1 mark, and left.
- Saudi Arabia: Despite finishing in last, they provided the first shocker of the tournament, with their 2-1 win over Argentina. The 3rd minute penalty goal from Messi wasn't enough for Argentina to win. But that was the only thing Saudi Arabia did that ended up being memorable.
GROUP D
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| Mais bien sûr! Of course France would end up on top! Also blimey! Australia made it out safe and sound, too |
Group D was basically the "Group of Dicks". Because 2 squads would end up dicking over the others, and said others would be sent back home due to getting dicked by the winners of the group. That's a lot of dicks in just one sentence, not going to lie.
- France: Strong side. Nothing but praise for this nation. But how did they lose to Tunisia? African and Asian teams have been full of surprises this tournament.
- Australia: Blimey! They actually managed to advance. What a time to be alive. Beating Denmark and Tunisia with ease, but struggled against France. Nevertheless, bravo Australia!
- Tunisia: Another team that had the potential to advance, but didn't. To answer the question regarding their win, they were the better side. Simply put. But Australia proved to be a harder task to tackle.
- Denmark: Why were they here?
GROUP E
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| 日本一！！！！ |
E! This was a dope meme a while back. Like a few years ago. And this group is yet another proof of it. This year's "Group of Death". And to everyone's surprise, the giants faced death, whilst the Rising Sun spread its warmth throughout the group.
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| Well hot damn! Morocco on top of the group. Mashallah! |
- Morocco: Quite possibly the most pleasant team to watch play in the group stages. Hard work, determination, good team chemistry, and always on the attack. Their 1st place was ell deserved.
- Croatia: Croatia shocked everyone with their lackluster performance. Their last game against Belgium was in particular the worst, as I refused to watch the game due to how boring it was.
- Belgium: Pressure can cause a man to break easily. And that's just what happened to Belgium. Pressure from everyone to do well, plus internal conflicts with the players sent Belgium back home early on in the tournament.
- Canada: It was a good show, eh!
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| BRASIL NÚMERO UM DO MUNDO!!! |
- Brazil: Brief description of their performance is not needed for this squad.
- Switzerland: Same for these guys. They did quick work of their opponents.
- Cameroon: They could've been in Switzerland's place, had they defeated them in their first group game. Shame they didn't manage to do well in the following 2 matches.
- Serbia: MRSH U TRI PIZDE LEPE MATERINE!!! ME ZDOBOLE TO SHO SI LEGENDA! NE SE IGRA SA 3CA U ODBRANU ILI DEFANZIVNI PLAYSTYLE SVAKI DAN!!! 4-4-2 ILI 4-3-3!!! MAMU TI JEBEM!!!
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| Ronaldo & K-Pop is unironically an interesting mix... |
- Portugal: Quite easy for them in this group. Might have been the same for us if we were here, but hey that's life. Only 1 loss to South Korea.
- South Korea: From a desperate state of mind to feeling over the moon. They pulled off a miracle against Portugal to secure a place for the next round.
- Ghana & Uruguay: Putting these 2 together due to the Suarez incident during the qualifiers for the 2010 World Cup. And yet, even when eliminated, Uruguay ended up being the better side. Both teams were shit however...
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| Who actually thought USA would advance? |
Anyways, Netherlands vs USA. This game was a no brainer. Everyone knew that The Dutch were gonna take the win, and it was given, since Depay scored in the first 10 minutes of the game. And after that, "The Oranjes" kept on attacking and attacking, until Daley Blind scored in stoppage time of the 2nd half. Second half was a lot more relaxed, as they didn't put the pressure a whole lot on the USA squad, but a goal from Dumfries in the 81st minute was the final nail in the coffin for the US.
Oh and Haji Wright scored in the 76th minute. Forgot to mention that.
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| Fate was cruel to the Aussies... |
But Argentina is crueler. So cruel in fact, they decided to embarrass Australia by scoring an own goal, just to rub salt onto their wound.
Messi scored in the 35th minute through a penalty, followed by Alvarez in the 57th minute (not a penalty) and it concluded with Argentina scoring the 3rd goal in the 77th minute to end the score with 2-1.
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| Lewandowski doing sad cringe dances on TikTok after this game... |
Meanwhile, France has strong players, such as Griezmann, Giroud, Mbappe, Pogba, Kante... AND OTHERS!!!
Anyways, 2 goals from Mbappe and one from Giroud sealed France in the Quarters, and sent Poland packing. Robert did score right at the end, though.
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| This was a beatdown... Ouch! |
England started the first half with lots of attacks, which were rewarded with 2 goals from Henderson in the 39th minute, and Harry Kane in the 45th minute (48th if we count the additional stoppage time). Then Saka in the 57th minute.
All in all, England won, Senegal lost, AND IT'S COMING HOME, BOYS!!!!
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| This was just gut wrenching. For fuck's sake, Japan! |
A fierce game overall. Japan and Croatia both attacked relentlessly. Maeda Daizen in the 43rd minute for 1-0, Ivan Perisic in the 55th minute for 1-1.
Game concluded with Croatia winning the penalty shootout 3-1. I was devastated when Japan lost, but they have earned my respect for showing humbleness and politeness through and through.
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| Button mashing > Tae-kwon-do... |
In 36 minutes, Vinicius Jr., Neymar, Richardson & Lucas Paqueta sent Korea back home. Seung-ho Paik's goal in the 76th minute was pointless.
Blanka > Juri (Sorry, my mind was focused on Street Fighter when I said this)
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| HOLY SHIT!!! THIS ONE WAS FOR THE AGES!!! |
Morocco is a blessing! This squad topped its group, plays phenomenal football, has good teamwork and team morale, and most important of all, they don't give a single flying FUCK who they face. They just do it! The opponents, commentators & spectators end up standing in awe when they face this team.
Spain got to taste some Moroccan spice during this match of the Round of 16. They handled it poorly. After 120 minutes, their stomachs just couldn't handle the heat the spice produced.
Meanwhile, Morocco was beautifully dancing on the pitch. Really sad they didn't score a goal to end the game early.
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| Portugal chose violence... |
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| For a match that was meant to excite people, it was rather boring... |
We kick things off with Croatia & Brazil, in what is perhaps the most boring game of the tournament. The entirety of match dragged itself from start to finish. With the only exciting part being the penalties.
Brazil's game plan was just as dull as Croatia's. Most of the time, the ball was spent on the midfield, with neither team making any significant progress to reach the goal.
It was so boring that the first goal happened during the final moments of the extra times. But then Croatia pulled off an asspull and catapulted itself in the semi-final...
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| Long balls just weren't enough to save Netherlands from a defeat... |
The second game of the Quarter-Finals saw Netherlands face Argentina in what perhaps had the best plot twist in this stage.
Outmatched and unable to counter Argentina's attacks, Netherlands fell victim to Nahuel Molina in the 35th minute. Same thing during the second half, struggles. But Messi's successful penalty in the 73rd minute fired up the spirit of the Dutch and saw them score in the 83rd, and then PROVIDING WHAT WAS THE BEST SET PIECE OF THE TOURNAMENT, SCORED IN THE 101st GOD DAMN MINUTE TO EQUALIZE THE SCORE!!!
And then lost on penalties. This is what we call a "ggwp"* moment
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| JESUS CHRIST!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! |
FIRST AFRICAN COUNTRY TO MAKE IT INTO THE SEMI-FINAL!!!
Superb play from the Moroccans, outmaneuvering Portugal in both attack and defense. En - Nesyri with his goal in the 42nd minute shocked everyone. And to make things better, they toyed with Portugal for the rest of the game. I wouldn't call it toying, but rather trolling. They trolled a bit too hard and Walid Cheddira got sent off in the 93rd minute.
But the cherry on top of this sundae is Cristiano Ronaldo leaving the pitch in tears, rage and embarrassment. After what you said about us, you deserved it. Fucking prick...
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| Urlando come un matto... |
DAMN IT MAGUIRE!!!
DAMN IT KANE!!!
DAMN IT ALL!!!
IT'S NEVER COMING HOME!!!
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| Quite the match, I must say... |
ARGENTINA vs CROATIA!!! A game which many (including myself) saw it as the game where Argentina would win with ease and progress to the final of the World Cup. And guess what? They did!
An unfortunate mistake by Livakovic led to Messi scoring in the 34th minute through a penalty. In the top right corner with no chance of saving. And then 5 minutes later Alvarez scored a beauty. Seems that Argentina has the knack for scoring wonderful goals when it comes from the halfway line. And then finally, to seal the deal, he did it again in the 69th minute. NICE!!!
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| NO! NO! NO! FUCK NO!!! |
FOR GOD'S SAKE MOROCCO!!!
The match between France & Morocco was bound to have its upsets and tears. And they were felt by the Moroccan supporters. The underdog of the tournament lost it near the end.
Throughout the match, France were leaning more towards defense rather than attacking and seizing opportunities to increase their lead. Meanwhile, Morocco fought hard without thinking of giving up. They had all the chances, but Hugo Lloris denied everything.
Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE (apart from France) felt bad for this Golden African nation. They worked hard, played beautiful and fair football, and became the first African country to reach the semis. And their defeat wasn't even humiliating. Congratulations Morocco for reminding us as to why we call this sport the "beautiful game"...
I WAS PROVEN WRONG!!! MY GOD THIS MATCH WAS INSANE!!!
But before I explain why, let's start from the first half, mainly when Messi scored in the 23rd minute thanks to a penalty caused by Dembele's miscalculated tackle on Di Maria. A few attacks later, and some lovely team play as well, Di Maria scored in the 36th to make the score 2-0 at half time.
But then, France woke up from their slumber and started to repel the Argentinian attack. They were ruthless, and fast as fuck! Mbappe in particular made things harder for everyone thanks to his 2 goals in the 80th and 81st minute, with the two being scored exactly 90 seconds apart. Like GOD DAMN DID EVERYONE LOST THEIR SHIT WHEN THIS HAPPENED!!!
At extra time, Leo did a GOAT and put Argentina back in the lead in the 108th minute, BUT THEN MBAPPE, 2 MINUTES BEFORE THE END OF EXTRA TIME, SCORES AND BECOMES THE SECOND EVER PLAYER TO SCORE A HAT-TRICK IN A FINAL!!!
France had the opportunity to settle the score 20 seconds before the end of the 2nd extra time, however their attempt was stopped by Emilano Martinez.
And then the penalties. Messi, Dybala, Leandro Paredes & Gonzalo Montiel in particular, made Argentina proud. Mbappe and Muani couldn't do much, as Coman and Tchouameni couldn't put it past Martinez.
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| CONSEGUISTE AMERICA!!! CONSEGUISTE QATAR!!! CONSEGUISTE EL MUNDO!!! |
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| ARGENTINA IS CELEBRATING A BIT TOO HARD!!! |
- GOLDEN BALL: LIONEL MESSI
- GOLDEN GLOVE: EMILANO MARTINEZ
- YOUNG PLAYER AWARD: ENZO FERNANDEZ
As for the stadiums, they looked wonderful. They were a work of art (and if someone says I support the mistreatment, no I don't. I just like how the stadiums look). One of the rare moments where I liked the modern take on a football stadium.
The tournament taking place during winter was interesting. And the time of day when they were played were pretty decent too! You got football action almost everyday from 16:00 to 22:00.
