UEFA EURO 2020 RECAP AND REVIEW

 The 16th European Tournament will perhaps go down in history as one of the most bizarre tournaments in the history of the beautiful game. Not only was it one of the first tournaments to be played in various countries, rather than having it being played in a single or two countries, but it was the first to not be played in an even year. We can all thank the COVID-19 outbreak that started all the way back at the start of last year. Due to the virus, the tournament was postponed and was, understandably, moved for the next year. This is the second reason. The first one, matches being played in different countries, was an idea that UEFA came up with to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the tournament. The countries that had their bids successfully accepted were, in alphabetical order from A-Z (or in this case, from A-S): Azerbaijan, Denmark, England, Germany, Hungary, Italy, Netherlands, Romania, Russia, Scotland and Spain. 11 countries in total. Some hosted group stage matches, some mixed with group stages and Round of 16, and some quarter finals. England hosted the semis and the final altogether. Before I dive in into this article, one positive note I might add was the return of the crowd. As much as I enjoyed watching football without crowd, hearing the players and managers shouting at everything, listening to the crowds singing and cheering can never, ever be replaced. 

Without further ado, it's time to recap and review the tournament based on this table of contents:

- Group stages

- Round of 16

- Quarter finals

- Semi finals

- Final

- Conclusion

GROUP STAGES

GROUP A

The first group was... Actually quite an interesting group. Italy, Wales, Switzerland and Turkey ended up giving everyone a great joy and feeling knowing that the UEFA Euro 2020 tournament has kicked off. Both to fans and players alike. I won't go too much into detail with the groups, but I do have to mention the opening game of the tournament, between Turkey and Italy. And the only memorable thing about the whole game was the end, where Italy enjoyed their plate of Turkey. 0-3 was the final score and "gli Azzuri" had earned the first win and 3 points of the tournament. And with that  win, Italy went on to dominate their group, winning all 3 games and earning 9 points in the process. Wales came 2nd, but wasn't close to them, nor were that terrific. They shared their points with Switzerland, a country that showed great show, despite ending in 3rd place. All in all, everyone had a taste of Turkey, which unfortunately left the tournament empty handed with 1 goal scored and 8 conceded.

GROUP B

This group in particular had a VERY rocky start. Its opening game between Denmark and Finland was mostly remembered by the horrible collapse of Denmark superstar Cristian Eriksen, who suffered a cardiac arrest during the first half of the game. THANKFULLY, he was brought back to life (yes, he was dead for 3 minutes before he was brought back), and the game was resumed. In my honest opinion, it should have been postponed. But nevertheless, it ended up 0-1 for Finland. Next country is Belgium. Just like Italy, they dominated their group. Made everyone look like amateurs. It's like they played on amateur themselves. Cheeky bastards. Sadly, unlike the previous groups (and the following others), the 3rd and 4th placed Finland and Russia respectively did not advance forward with the tournament. Despite sharing 3 points, they were pretty much knocked out on goal difference, meaning that Belgium and Denmark secured their spots for the next round. And to end this group with a positive note, Eriksen has been feeling a lot better after the incident, but he'll require some sort of device for his heart in order for things to be in check. All in all, a tale with a horrible start, but an ending that ends being far better than the beginning.

GROUP C

This is the part of the tournament where I come to play. How weird, isn't it? What I mean by this is that this is the group where my home country, North Macedonia, played its first ever major tournament. After a successful and stressful qualifying period, we managed to enter our first European tournament and to say it was an epic moment it would be an understatement... And we got our ass kicked... HARD. First by Netherlands, then Austria, and finally, Ukraine. We did hit hard, but not hard enough. In the end, we packed our bags and came back home, whereas Netherlands, Austria and Ukraine, advanced with the tournament. Netherlands were pretty strong if I do say so myself. Austria were a decent squad to play against and watch. Ukraine, if I'm being honest, got lucky. With their singular win against us, they secured a spot for the Round of 16. But I suppose the real star team was our own, mainly because despite our defeat, we played well. We still got our asses kicked though.

GROUP D

Oh boy... Where do I begin with this one? This was probably one of the most meme worthy groups out of the bunch, mainly due to England's shambolic performance and their wins that led some fans claim they have already won the Euros and started singing Lightning Seeds' "Football's coming home" before anything major even happened. 2 wins and a draw, with horrible results, England somehow came first in their group, followed by a strong Croatia and Czech Republic sides, I question how they even managed to end up in the top of their group. Sadly, Scotland left Group D with a single point, which was earned during their match against England. That whole game proved that England just shit itself throughout their group, but the fans' cheering and singing made it, a little bit interesting.

(Putting this here because why the fuck not? It's a good song, despite how it's overused by England all the time)

GROUP E

I'd like to dub this group as the meme group. Simply cause of the E meme that was popular a couple of years ago (it's still funni), and about one of the teams that got... Pretty much destroyed for existing. I'm of course talking about Slovakia. Getting destroyed 0-5 on your last day of the tournament + an own goal? It was just jokes. What's even worse is that they ended up above Poland. Poland went unnoticed thanks to Slovakia's shenanigans. But, neither of those 2 countries proceeded with the tournament. Spain (2nd place) and Sweden (1st place), continued their business like it's a walk in the park. For Spain, with that specific beatdown on Slovakia on their last day, was a brutal and a successful conquest that took them far in the tournament. Seriously? What even was Slovakia doing the day before their game against Spain? Smoking some weed or something? 

GROUP F

Press F to pay your respects. Like, seriously. Pay your respects. Because this was quite the group of death. 3 strong teams and 1 not so strong team, duking it out to see who will come out on top or secure a spot to advance in the tournament. France, Germany and Portugal were causing quite the ruckus just by their presence. With star players and overall, star squads, the tension between these 3 was HUGE. And then there was Hungary. Just chilling. BUT, Hungary was like that one video game character from fighting games that may seem out of place with its moves and personality, but it can fuck up your day if you're not careful. That's how I see Hungary. It managed to score 2 points, but those 2 points were earned by fighting against sides that were pretty much able to defeat the Hungarians with ease; those sides being France (1-1) and Germany (2-2). The other highlight of this group was Portugal, who was almost knocked out from the group stage, but thanks to the "1Up Continue" mechanic that allowed some 3rd placed teams to advance, they survived. Otherwise, France and Germany were neck and neck with their performance and points.

ROUND OF 16

To be quite honest with you, describing the groups in a couple of words plus adding the images was quite tiresome. Looking at the notes on what to write down was also pain, but wasn't as painful as watching the round of 16 and being in genuine disbelief with some of the matches.

First match: Wales vs Denmark. An easy win for the Danish side. 4 goals in the bag and an early ticket for the quarters was assured. Kasper Dolber has pretty much dominated this match. 100% sure of it. As for Bale and his squad, they headed back home in disappointment.

Second match: Italy vs Austria. A close game. Very close. With the game being the first of many in this tournament to end up continuing in extra time, it wasn't until the first half of extra time when Italy first scored. Then in the same half scored again. With 6 minutes remaining, Kalajdzic scored and gave some hope, but after the whistle was blown, Italy booked their place in the quarters.

Third match: Netherlands vs Czech Republic. I guess you could say this as a revenge match. Slavs defeating an enemy that defeated their fellow Slav relatives. The biggest "WTF?!?!?" match in the tournament yet. Netherlands' overall poor performance led them to be devoured by the Czechs, who by this point, became hunters. And wanted nothing more but to score goals and play beautifully.

Fourth match: Belgium vs Portugal. A quiet match. Nothing really happened throughout the whole game. Only highlight was Eden's younger brother, Throgan Hazard, scoring the only goal of the match and that was it really.

Fifth match: Croatia vs Spain. A bloodbath. A literal bloodbath. Croatia and Spain were scoring goals like it's a bloody Sunday League football. Croatia takes the lead, then Spain, then Croatia equalizing. It was a madhouse. Game was taken into extra time too, where the Spaniards scored 2 goals to advance Spain's journey and end the match with 3-5 the score. Haven't seen a good Sunday League styled game between 2 teams like this in a while.

Sixth game: France vs Switzerland. This one was an underdog win. Switzerland held their own amazingly throughout the whole game. Managing to best a strong France side in both normal and extra time with everything they had. In the end, it was decided that Switzerland was going to win the penalty shoot out and advance to the quarters.

Seventh game: England vs Germany. IT'S OFFICIAL LADS!!!! ENGLAND HAS WON THE EUROS FOR THE 4TH TIME AND BEAT GERMANY!!!! FOOTBALL IS COMING HOME!!!

Eighth game: Sweden vs Ukraine. I forgot this game even happened. Yet another game that was taken to extra time after neither side managed to break the equalizer, which was made possible thanks to Forsberg and Zinchenko's goals in the first half. Ukraine ended up advancing.

QUARTER-FINALS

Reaching the end with this one. Next stop. The quarter finals. And what a shit show this was...

First game: Switzerland vs Spain. A good game overall, especially for the Swiss. They held their heads high, even after their loss in the penalty shootout. I have to agree that Switzerland put out a good show, winning games and holding their own against someone that was much stronger than them. Good job Switzerland. Well played. Spain caused a lot of Pain with their win, but it is what it is.

Second game: Belgium vs Italy. Italy has been going downhill with each game. After the group stage, they've had their struggling moment for a while. This was a very close call for "gli Azzuri". Belgium showed their strength and while they got knocked, they gave Italy a run for their money.

Third game: Czech Republic vs Denmark. The Danish have made their comrade Eriksen proud. And the Czech were pretty good too. The hunters became the hunted. A 2-1 win for Denmark meant that they will face either England or Ukraine in the semis.

Fourth game: Ukraine vs England. I'M TELLING YOU LOT, GARETH SHOULD BE KNIGHTED BY THE QUEEN HERSELF. A 0-4 WIN AGAINST UKRAINE, ARE YOU MAD?!?!? IT'S COMING HOME BOYS!!!!!

SEMI-FINALS

It's so close to the end. I can almost feel it. 4 very strong teams, but only 2 can end up on Wembley (for the 2nd time, since the semis are played there) and become Europe's champions. So let's see how it all went down...

First match: Italy vs Spain. Boring game. Full of drought. Fell asleep whilst watching it. Woke up just in time for the penalty shoot out. It did not disappoint. Jorghino's cheeky penalty sent Italy into the final. Spain was on the floor crying in disappointment. But they shouldn't feel sad about losing, cause they were the only ones that managed to score 5 goals on 2 occasions in the tournament, so that's something I guess.

Second match: England vs Denmark. Three things I have to say: 1. That wonderful freekick from Dasgaard that gave England their first conceded goal in the tournament, something they haven't had until that moment. A wonderful strike. 2. The controversial penalty and the fans helping Harry Kane to score by blinding Kasper Schmeichel so that he can dive the wrong way was total bullshit and sent England all the way to the final against Italy. 3. The screams when England won were heard throughout the world. Like, Jesus Christ. Football really is coming home.

FINAL

Italy vs England

The moment that we've been waiting for. Italy vs England. "Gli Azzuri" vs "The Three Lions". "Bella Ciao" vs "Football's Coming Home". It's all down to this. England secured an early lead with Luke Shaw's goal that happened thanks to a brilliant counter-attack from the English side. In the 2nd minute, it was one of the fastest goals scored on an European tournament. And then it all went to shit for them. Lackluster performance after that goal. This gave the Italians some boost in confidence and began dominating the three kittens. However, their goal was lucky, I'll give you that. A failed corner + Bonucci being next to the ball gave Italy the chance to equalize and fight for the trophy. After regular time, extra time followed, where England were even more dreadful than before. No winner was decided EVEN THEN, so penalties it was. And all I can say is: Complimenti per aver vinto la finale. You've earned it Italia. 

And as for England:

Even though I was for England during the final, these reactions still make me laugh very hard.

CONCLUSION

 I don't really know what to say about this tournament. It was fun as fuck. Especially near the end of it. Some underdog teams showed what they were capable of against the big boys, some were pure travesty, and one team tasted European luxury for the first time (despite the early knockout we faced, we did well in my honest opinion). Italy struggling, just so later they powered up and dominated England was a true in real life final boss fight moment. From a participant with low health, suddenly healing itself to the max and gaining extra strength, Italy destroyed England and rightfully won the tournament AND; fulfilled the vendetta that the whole world had (Everyone's now mocking the English by singing "It's coming to Rome"). England just shat itself to the final. Let's be honest, the lackluster performance and pure luck is what got them to the final. Their play reminded me of Manchester United's form in recent years, and as a Red Devil myself, I found that shit fucking traumatizing. 

The lack of highlights is due to UEFA being stinky and not allowing everyone to watch the highlights. Their region specific rule is poo. 

All in all, hope you enjoyed my review and recap of sorts of this tournament. Once the new season starts, I'll be ranting about United and its misadventures in causing me mental breakdowns and screeches about who should Solskajer sell and buy.

Until next time...

I HAD "FOOTBALL'S COMING HOME" READY TO PLAY... AND YOU LOT RUINED IT FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE... FOR FUCK SAKE ENGLAND!!!!