After long and
exhausting 12 months of many ups and many, many downs, we’ve reached the end of
2025 and next stop is 2026. The year hasn’t been the best, if I’m being honest.
Loads of bad stuff happened in it and made everyone feel anxious and uncertain
for the future. From wars, to tragic accidents, to murder (and other vile
things that would censor me here for just even mentioning them), 2025 was
certainly a year of pain and suffering. Even in the world of football, we
couldn’t escape the misery the year brought upon us. A few good, prosperous and
talented footballers lost their lives this year, including Liverpool’s star
Diogo Jota. Even I, a Manchester United fan, can still feel the impact of his
death. He may have played for my eternal hated rival, but the young lad was a
baller and was a fantastic lad overall. May he and the others rest in peace and
keep on playing the ultimate sport, even in the afterlife.
On a more cheery
note, we had PSG beating the ever loving shit out of Inter in the 2024-2025
UEFA Champions League final. 5-0!!! 5 FUCKING 0!!! I am married to United, but
AC Milan is my best pal, and as a Rossonero: FOTTITI, INTER!!! Un mucchio di
pezzi di merda blu…
I mean… United
also fumbled the Europa League final against BLOODY SPURS. So there’s that as
well. Okay most of the events I was going to mention here were to be comic
relief moments, so they’re not that tragic.
But before we
move on to the December report:
"I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Football, bloody hell. But they never gave in and that's what won it."
HAPPY 84TH
BIRTHDAY, SIR ALEXANDER CHAPMAN FERGUSON!!! THE GREATEST MANAGER OF ALL TIME,
SECOND TO NONE! I am really sorry we failed to win against a team that is
preparing to go to League Two in the next 2 years or so. May you have a
wonderful day, and may your legacy be forever of that of a CHAMPION!!!
Anyways,
beginning the December report with the first game of the month...
United
throughout the month have been fumbling it left and right. Play one half
amazingly, then fuck up the other. Or vice versa. An inconsistent form through
and through, with the biggest issues being 0 FINISHERS and 0 DEFENDING. The
midfield play was rather amazing, but holy shit, WHERE IS OUR ATTACK? WHERE IS
OUR DEFENCE? Poor Lammens is experiencing what De Gea was for the last 12 years…
IN JUST 5 MONTHS!!!
Bournemouth are
running out of fumes at the moment. They are on their way to lose their star
player, Semenyo, because he is desired by plenty of clubs in the Premier. And
to be quite fair, he is in-form as we speak. Rumours have it, he is going to
join Man City, and not Man United. In other words, thank you Fabrizio, you
party pooper. As for the team, they’re not looking so hot right now, but definitely
not too cold, either. They’re sure to bounce back in the second half of the
season.
Ayyy, the Scouse
bastards have found their form. After getting humiliated left and right for
about a month and a half, Liverpool have snapped back and started to play
actual football. Isak and Ekitiké
are also starting to show their abilities, too!
But can please
someone explain to me what in the bloody hell is Spurs doing? And who the fuck
does Richarlison think he is? Superman?
The clapping of
ass cheeks. Best way to describe this match.
Leeds United may
be a low-tier club this season, but they’re a low-tier that can mess up even
those that are better than them. They have to be a bit more crafty and cunning
to win their games. They did beat Chelsea this month 3-1, with wonderfully and
cunningly crafted set pieces that made the Blues feel the Blues. Then they drew
their following games.
But this match
against Palace was a repeat of their Chelsea game, where they put the pressure
from the early moments of the game and kept that momentum up until the end.
Calvert-Lewin with a double in the first half, then Ampadu for 3-0 in the 60th
minute. An unfortunate penalty awarded to the guests saw them go down a goal in
the first minute of stoppage time, thanks to Devenny, who found the back of the
net as cool as a cucumber.
Oh and then
Leeds’ Stach, either to improve the team’s G/D ratio, or just for shits and
giggles, made it 4-1. In all honesty, Leeds played incredible football here.
Let’s hope things go better for them and Bournemouth in the second half of the
season.
A minor setback,
is what I will say about this game.
Firstly: Villa
are EXTREMELY ON FIRE this season. Third in the League, third in Europa League,
amazing squad with the players having amazing chemistry with each other (not in
that way, you perverted fools!) And of course, Mr. Good Ebening himself in
charge of the squad.
11 game unbeaten
run! 11!!! Amazing what this team is doing at the moment. They have been like
this for a few years now, and it’s all thanks to smart investments, and having
faith in the manager and his philosophy on how to manage a team.
I was already
impressed by Watkins, but Rodgers is another Villa player who’s a true BALLER!
And of course, I cannot forget, in my own eyes, the real star of the team: Emi
Martinez! A shitposter who is also a fantastic keeper.
Third place with
1 point behind Man City is crazy. I hope this side surpasses them, or hell,
even win the League. It would be a cool call-back to their dominance from the
80s.
Secondly:
Arsenal… I guess? Good job?
STANDINGS
HAPPY NEW YEAR,
EVERYONE (still not New Year at the time of publishing this post), HAPPY
HOLIDAYS, AND MAY 2026 BE A FANTASTIC YEAR!!!
It seems
remarkable that the penultimate month of the year had so many moments to spoil
us with from its beginning, all the way to the end of its stay. The Champions
League captured some rather unusual stuff, the World Cup qualifiers were some
of the most exciting ones to date. Quite frankly. WHO DECIDES TO SHOOT FROM THE
HALF WAY LINE AND PUT IT IN THE BACK OF THE NET IN THE FINAL QUALIFYING MATCH
FOR THE WORLD CUP???? And of course, there’s the Premier League, which at the
moment, is in a state where one small mistake can be the difference between placing
in the Top 5 or end up fighting for survival. The start of the season has been
nothing but exciting. I haven’t seen such excitement in nearly 15 years or so.
Despite Arsenal still being on the top of the table, their performance has
dropped significantly, whereas Chelsea’s has improved DRASTICALLY! This was
seen during the London derby on the last day of the month, when the teams
played against one another, and despite the draw and with a man less in the
team, Chelsea were the better team. Blimey, even the teams above Wolverhampton
have a chance to escape the Relegation Zone. I don’t want to hold you out on
the report any longer, so let’s jump in to see who did a YAY, and who did a NAY
in the selected matches of my monthly Premier League report coverage. And I
have to be very quick with it because December’s matches begin TOMORROW!!!
For years,
countries around the world grew and grew with power and influence until the
point of no return was reached. From the 18th and 19th
century, even earlier if we want to be more accurate, and all the way to the 20th
century, the world saw a drastic change at a very rapid pace: the discovery of
new lands and continents, the abolishment of feudalism and introduction of
imperialism, the enlightenment, countries being banded together as one, whether
the people loved it or not, rapid growth of the military, bonds formed between
countries, and love for your own country. All of these changes played a big
role for an event that caused a ripple effect for years to come, with said
ripple effect to carry on these chains of events until the end of times, with no
possibility on finding a way to fix these problems.
The United
Kingdom, France, Russia, Germany, Austro-Hungary, Italy and the Ottoman Empire.
The seven most important figures in all of Europe. Each ruling country being
friends with the other due to shared interests or disdain for the other, ruling
over the others or suppressing those that want to free themselves from their
rule. As time went on, tensions grew. And they grew big, especially after the
reunification of Germany in 1871, which was a cause of concern for everyone in
the world. On top of that, as mentioned before, the smaller countries ruled by
the bigger ones wanted to gain independence and establish themselves as
something else. Some wanted to take back lands that were stolen from someone
else.
The Balkans in
particular always come to mind when this topic is brought up. Controlled by
both the Ottomans and the Austro-Hungarians, this region’s countries fought
through hell and back in order to achieve freedom. In the end, they still got
eaten up by the bigger fish, even after gaining independence. There had to be a
way to end this dominion and rule once and for all. To tell the big boys to
bugger off and leave us all alone…
…On June 28,
1914, a bullet fired from a young man by the name of Gavrilo Princip would
change the course of history, forever…
That bullet started a war, a war which ended
nothing, yet it changed the world forever…
If you thought I
would talk something about how the game came to be in the first part of the
introduction, then sorry to disappoint, but it’s nothing of the sorts. However,
now I can and I will.
Battlefield 1 is
a game that took a great risk during a time in which the military-esque style
of gameplay was becoming tiring and super predictable. Fast action gameplay, hiding
behind covers to regain health, generic and boring stories, focusing on being
flashier and being a tryhard than actual having skill. At the same time, in
2016, the rise of old-school FPS games started to gain more momentum, with a specific game which I’ll talk about
at a later date.
With its
competitor, Call of Duty, going all sci-fi futuristic, the developers at DICE
decided to go back to the basics, at the dawn of all-out war. Hell on Earth!
This is
Battlefield 1
GAMEPLAY
Contrary to
popular belief, Battlefield (BF for short) is NOT a game where being a sweaty
player thinking that by going on alone as if you’re Doomguy would win you
games. NO! You will die a pitiful death which would be of no help to no one,
including yourself. Teamwork and communication is important: always move with
your squad or other soldiers, reveal enemy’s location, repair vehicles, revive
and heal fallen allies… AND CAPTURE THE DAMN OBJECTIVES! Even if your K/D ratio
is awful, but managed to contribute for the team, you’d end up becoming a true
hero.
In short, BF is
a “boots on ground” type of a FPS. Jumping is only useful when hopping over
fences or climbing walls. You also have to factor in on bullet drop and good
positioning if you want to kill enemy troops or create the perfect flank
ambush.
With all that
said, it’s still a video game and crazy video gamey stuff is to be expected.
But it’s so dang fun it will make your blood boil and make you feel excited to
join in the war for the glory, only to be met with the grim reality of how
horrifying war can be.
The games are
well known for being multiplayer focused, with the single-player portion of the
games serving as the basics on mastering the gameplay of the game. This game is
no different, although the method of teaching the player the mechanics of the
game in this one is amazing. I’ll keep the next segment short so we can get
over the most important stuff afterwards.
WAR STORIES
The “campaign”
is separated into 6 chapters called War Stories. Each chapter follows the story
of a soldier that participated in the war. I will talk about them in order of
play, rather than in order of date:
Storm of Steel is the introductory chapter of the
campaign, and the most unique out of all, as you play with multiple characters
rather than one. If one dies, the game switched to the next soldier, as
narration progresses. All the soldiers are members of the “Harlem
Hellfighters”, a unit consisting of Black Americans that saw some of the harshest fights at
the end of the war.
Through Mud and Blood is the true first chapter of the
campaign. You play as Daniel Edwards, a chauffeur who enlists for the British
Army, particularly to be a tank driver. He is in charge of driving the Mk. V
Tank, an absolute beast of a vehicle and weapon, but not without its problems.
The story takes place in 1918, during the Battle of Cambrai, a.k.a. the “Hundred
Days Offensive”.
Friends in High Places is the second chapter, in which it follows
the misadventures of the flamboyant and charming, yet cunning and deceiving ace
pilot Clyde Blackburn. After losing a bet against a British pilot of noble
background, he ties said man, steals his identity and takes off into the sky
with his mate Wilson to battle the Germans in the Battle of Arras in 1917.
Avanti
Savoia is
the third chapter, in which the protagonist is Luca Vincenzo Cocchiola, member
of the Arditi unit. This chapter is also unique in the sense that it is told in
the form of a story rather than it happening directly, as Luca recounts his
memories to his daughter. Luca and his twin brother Matteo, both assigned to
different units, are tasked with taking over an Austro-Hungarian fortress in
the Dolomites in the autumn of 1918. While the siege of the fortress is a
success, Matteo sadly loses his life, causing Luca to say one of the saddest
lines in the game’s campaign: “He never
got older. And here I am, still. Who decides such things?”
The Runner is the penultimate chapter.
In it, the main protagonist is Frederick Bishop, a messenger for the Australian
army and a veteran of the Second Boer War. He is also accompanied by a young
lad called Jack Foster, who snuck in to join the war. In the beginning,
Fredrick and the boy start off rough, with Fredrick trying to get rid of the
boy due to the former’s innocence and naivety, but by the end of the chapter,
they end up trusting one another and become heroes for their country. This
chapter is set the earliest, all the way to 1915 during the Gallipoli Campaign.
It also contains the only light hearted line in the story: We’re Australians. Impossible to kill.
Nothing is
Written is
the last chapter of the War Stories. Taking place in the spring of 1918, it
follows the fictional Bedouin rebel Zara Ghufran, who works alongside T.E.
Lawrence, a.k.a. Lawrence of Arabia, to undermine the Ottoman occupation of the
Arabian Peninsula. After their original plan is discovered by the Ottomans, Lawrence's crew is ambushed, leaving Zara as the only survivor. Fortunately, Lawrence's crew escaped the ambush and rendezvous with Zara to complete their main objective. In the end, he asks her to accompany him to Suez for their next mission.
Remember Usis
a montage of the stories that is unlocked after beating all the chapters and is
dedicated to all that served the war.
MULTIPLAYER
The
real meat and bone of every Battlefield game. As said earlier, teamwork and
positioning wins you the game. But winning and positioning is half the battle.
You also need to know and master the classes that the game offers. If you
thought you were a normal soldier tasked to adapt with random weapons found on
the ground, you’re totally wrong. Knowing the pros and cons of the class that
you play with is CRUCIAL. And the game has 4 primary classes for the player to
choose and play. Before explaining the classes, one must know that the
multiplayer portion of the game has a levelling up system, for both the classes
and the player itself. Levelling up classes will allow players to unlock and
buy new weapons and gadgets with the in-game currency that I honestly keep
forgetting it exists called Warbounds, while levelling up your online profile
allows you to be recognised as
someone who knows how to play the game… Or someone that needs to touch grass.
Anyways, off to the trenches and meet the classes:
ASSAULT
The jack of all
trades, master of none class. This infantry unit is the most common one and the
perfect unit for flanking and engaging in medium ranged combat. They come
equipped with SMGs, shotguns (and whatever the fuck the Ribeyrolles 1918 is
supposed to be) to deal with opposing forces from either close range or far
range. On top of that, the unit also comes along with nifty gadgets, such as
the anti-tank grenades, Anti-Tank mines and the AT Rocket, which comes in tank
and air variants. Best place to learn the basics of trench warfare is within
this class.
MEDIC
The class that
can either save the game or cause an empire to collapse. Equipped with
semi-automatic rifles (except the Fedorov Avtomat, seriously that thing is EVIL),
the Medic is a class that is either sitting in the back providing medical
assistance for nearby soldiers while sniping the enemy, or is rushing around,
shooting down left and right, while covering with smoke bombs to try and revive
fallen allies using the Medical Syringe. Accompanying the medical syringe is
also the bandage pouch or the medical crate. The bandage pouch heals allies in
a flash and is quickly refreshed, but it’s useful for individual use, while the
medical crate can be used by multiple wounded allies, but it takes a while for
everyone to heal up or gain a new crate for that matter. Or you can be a
daredevil medic and use a Rifle Grenade mod that shoots Frag, HE or smoke
grenades. At the end of the day, whatever you chose to go with, SAVE YOUR
ALLIES!!!
SUPPORT
Big guns
shooting bullets for days. The Support class is the class that comes to give
you a helping hand when you run out of ammo or grenades. Carrying LMGs (THE BAR
M1918 IS NOT A TRUE LMG I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU ALL SAY), this class is all about
suppression and making sure the other two classes reach the objective with
minimal pain and suffering. Alongside ammo resupply, which is done in an
identical matter to the Medic class (Ammo Pouch and Ammo Crate), the Support
class comes with EXPLOSIVES: Limpet Charges, Crossbow Launchers and Mortars. As
an added bonus, this class is the only one that is able to repair tanks and
other vehicles using its Repair Tool wrench, which can also come in handy for
damaging enemy forces’ vehicles and soldiers as well. When playing with
Support, remember this: Suppress, resupply, suppress, SUPRRESS SOME MORE… And
make sure the tanks and trucks go BOOM!!!
SCOUT
The long ranged
infantry of the army, and the ones to provide the team with intelligence about
the enemy army. Their primary weapon is a sniper rifle, which can come with a
scope, an optical ring or iron sights. Using the iron sights takes a while to
learn, but once mastered, you might end up preferring that over a scope. The
Scout class has an interesting gameplay mechanic called “Sweet Spot”. Some
sniper rifles have that perfect spot
that can one-shot kill an enemy at any part of the body, as long as they’re
within the rifle’s range. This mechanic becomes noticeable when you notice an
enemy Scout’s scope flashing from afar, indicating you might get one-tapped if
you don’t get out of the way. Being a long-range unit, the Scouts come with
gadgets that help their squad and deceive the enemy. The spot flare gun
illuminates an area on the map which shows up where the enemies are, while the
tripwire bombs and Sniper Decoy serve as deception tactics to lure unsuspecting
enemy soldiers to their own death. They also come along with K Bullets, special
type of ammo used for dealing with tanks. Deals little damage, but can come in
handy for fighting vehicles or when you run out of standard rifle ammo.
Accompanying the
soldiers are pistols as secondary weapons, melee weapons (knives, blades,
clubs, etc.), bayonets for your bayonet charges, grenades (standard, gas, incendiary,
smoke, anti-tank) and perks. The perks are a special gameplay mechanic where
the player gets special abilities, such as faster health regeneration, spotting
enemies lasts longer, quiet movement, reduced damage taking when wearing a
mask, and so on. Some of these give the players an advantage, and some turn the
experience into a fun challenge mode. Some use these, some don’t.
On the map,
several ELITE CLASSES can be equipped. These classes have twice the health and
deal enormous damage, but once they’re killed, they cannot be brought back to
the fight.
Alongside the 4
main infantry classes, there are 3 additional ones that can only be selected
during gameplay, if you’re fast enough and if the map has them. Those classes
are Tanker, Pilot and Cavalry. Detailed explanation about these classes is not
needed.
GAME MODES
BF1 comes
packing with a variety of game modes. From Conquest to Team Deathmatch, the
game offers plenty of ways for players to play the game:
Air Assault is all about the pilots, the skies and
the zeppelins
Conquest All-out-war. Massive maps with plenty of
objectives to capture and hold. The team that has the maximum points by the end
wins.
Domination Same as Conquest, but the maps are
smaller and are infantry focused. The goal is also the same.
Frontlines A linear fight to capture and hold the
objectives. Pushing forward and retreating is to be expected. Make sure the
enemy doesn’t reach home base and destroy the telegraphs.
Operations The peak of this game’s multiplayer.
Relive historical battles through this mode, such as the Gallipoli Operation or
the Battle of Verdun. 64 players, surrounded by death. You think you have what
it takes to conquer Hell?
Rush Attack and destroy the enemy’s
telegraphs. Enemy forces can call for artillery strikes through the telegraphs.
Shock Operations Same as Operations, but with only one
map and a smaller number of players.
Supply Drop Supplies dropped from the skies must be
protected at all costs.
Team Deathmatch Team Deathmatch. Need I say more?
War Pigeons Get a hold of and protect a pigeon
carrying a message. Once that is done, the freed pigeon flies to HQ with a
message to start an artillery barrage. With
50.000 men getting killed per day, who’s going to notice a dead pigeon?
DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT
(DLC)
Modern gaming
requires modern problems. Yeah, I’m one of those people that is not a fan of
DLCs to have a full experience with a game. Now if the game has add-ons (like
the old Tomb Raider games), I’m all for that. Luckily, this game is 9 years old
and all the DLCs come pre-packaged when purchasing the game. But they are all
interesting enough for me to talk about them for a bit:
THEY SHALL NOT PASS
The first DLC of
the game launched in 2017, “They Shall Not Pass” (TSNP) featured the French as
a playable faction. Alongside them, new maps such as Verdun and Fort De Vaux,
weapons like the Chauchat, Lebel Model 1886 and other vehicles were introduced.
IN THE NAME OF THE TSAR
The second DLC,
titled “In The Name Of The Tsar” (TSAR), launched in late 2017 and it
introduced the Russians as a new playable faction. The Faction itself comes
with two groups: The Tsarists (White Army) and the Bolsheviks (Red Army), as
the DLC brings both WW1 and the Russian Revolution to the table, with playable
maps set in Russia and Poland. Alongside new maps and factions, new weapons,
like the aforementioned war crime weapon the Fedorov Avtomat and the actual
fan-hated weapon, the SMG 08/18, but also the peak shotgun that is the
Remington Model 1900 double barrelled SUPER SHOTGUN… Had to say it because it
feels like one.
TURNING TIDES
The third DLC
released in early 2018. “Turning Tides”, a.k.a. the “Gallipoli & North Sea Update”
brings new maps, new weapons, the Gallipoli operation, and a brand new Elite
Class, the Infiltrator, and alongside the Infiltrator, naval warfare.
APOCALYPSE
The final DLC,
called “Apocalypse”, is what it says. War is all the soldiers know, and
everything around them can be used as a weapon for killing. Released shortly
after “Turning Tides”, the “Apocalypse” DLC brings some of the best and worst
maps in the game, and some of the best weapons in the game. On top of that, it
has the best music for the main menu out of all the themes the game has.
You can buy the game here. It goes on sale from time to time.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Battlefield 1 is
a one of a kind game. Despite the game being action packed and being somewhat realistic, it manages to
capture the shock and horror that was World War 1, while at the same time giving
the player the chance to make their very own gameplay as epic and as cinematic
as possible. The wide variety of weapons, gadgets, maps and whatnot, while not
being 100% accurate to the real event, can be appreciated since the developers of
the game went above and beyond to implement pieces of technology that in
reality never made it in the frontlines, never passed their experimental
phases. In terms of not capturing the true spirit of the Great War is the fact
that it is VERY action orientated. In reality, you would be sitting in the
trenches for days on end, covered by the sounds of artillery, and when told to
get over the top and attack, you would end up shredded by the enemy machine
guns, get blown up by artillery strikes, or become another part of No Man’s
Land . By miracle, if you managed to get and conquer a trench, you’d still get
killed by those that lost it. The poem by Edwin Dwight sums this up all too
well:
Five hundred miles of Germans
Five hundred miles of French
And English, Scotch and Irish men
All fighting for a trench
And when the Trench is taken
And many thousands slain,
The losers, with more slaughter,
Retake the trench again
But that’s not
to say the game is an insult to the ones that fought in the war. As said
before, it captures the horrors and essence of the war to a T, and it pays
tribute to the fallen soldiers that fought hard for a brighter tomorrow. Even
the War Stories, despite being VERY HOLLYWOOD in terms of scripting and
writing, can tell a story of how the Great War was no grand adventure and how
it killed off the little innocence the world had left. This game is simply amazing.
In honour for
those that served, to never be forgotten.
TRIVIA
- The game
originally featured a soldier from the Harlem Hellfighters during the loading
screen of the game. That was changed with the TSAR update, which features a
woman that is part of the Russian’s Women Battalion (Женские батальоны смерти).
- The voice actors
did actual military workouts during the recording of their lines. This video
here is an example of what the voice actors had to go through to make the
soldiers feel alive during gameplay.
- The British,
Italian, German, Austro-Hungarian, Ottomans, French, Russian and American
factions are all playable, while the Arabs are only present during the single
player portion. The Serbs are mentioned only during the loading screen tips.
Most notable ones are how they managed to kick Austro-Hungary’s ass and their
retreat through Albania.
- If a soldier
nearby or you get killed by a big impact from a grenade, The Howie Scream would randomly play.
- The Annihilator
is an early prototype of the now famous Thompson M1928. It almost made it into
the war, but shipments of the weapon began right after the armistice.
- One of the most
well-known weapons in the game is the Standschütze Hellriegel 1915. In the
game, it’s a SMG with 60 bullets and assigned for the Assault class upon
reaching class rank 10. In reality, this thing is shrouded in mystery, as only
3 photographs of it exist, and even they cannot tell the story of this strange
weapon. Some believe it was meant for stationary shooting, some believe it was
meant for a close quarter trench cleaner. Whatever it may be, the game made it
popular, but not popular enough to solve the mystery on what it was going to be.
- A pre-order
bonus for the game (now part of the main game) gave players the opportunity to
play with weapons themed after the Harlem Hellfighters and the Red Baron.
Funnily enough, his infamous red paint for the exact same type of plane can be
applied when playing as a Pilot.
- All the
factions speak in their native tongue. ALL OF THEM!
- There’s a
rendition of the folk song “Zajdi, zajdi, jasno sonce” that plays at
random in the main menu, and is part of the ending for “The Runner” chapter. It
is sung by the Turkish-Bulgarian singer Aliye Mutlu. To avoid starting a war (if
somehow that should happen), I’ll refrain from saying much on this topic,
except that it sounds epic.
